File under: terrible, horrible, no good, very bad ideas.

Someone with even an ounce of common sense should have really, really put a stop to this one, ideally as soon as it was ‘spitballed’ in a meeting with a jovial: “You know what would be fun? If E.L. James hosted a live Twitter Q&A and really got to ~connect~ with her fans!”

Big mistake. HUGE mistake.

The hashtag #AskELJames was swiftly hijacked by folks on Twitter disgruntled that she’d a) glorified domestic violence, and b) managed to get something published despite multiple references to Ana’s twatting Inner Goddess instead of finding a single other way to write “Ana had the pleasant experience of knowing a psychopath wanted to take put his p in her v.” 

It’s pure, comedic gold, mixed in with truth bombs concerning ‘50 Shades‘ and domestic violence. Not a sentence we thought we’d ever write, but when a serious topic has already been trivialised by a mass money generating books and a film, what else is there to do except laugh, and laugh, and laugh?

We culled down the list of our favourites to a mere 15, but sweet merciful crap it was hard. You have ~no~ idea.

E.L. James, for her part, systematically blocked the haters and continued to leave a winky face on an alarming number of answers 😉

Including this one: