Donald Trump Proves Validity Of Own Hair With Live Inspection

Truth be told, we’ve kinda deliberately steered clear of the Bullshit Mountain that is Donald Trump‘s attempt to buy his way into the White House. Mostly because he certainly doesn’t need the extra attention. And also because we’re taking a fingers-in-ears approach to a campaign that’s terrifyingly approaching success.

But outside of the xenophobic, misogynistic, pig-headed lunacy that he’s been peddling thus far, comes this piece of what we consider to be actual news.
Turns out his hair is real?
Whilst speaking in Greenville, South Carolina – and literally reading out the frontpage of the New York Times to onlookers – Trump mocked an article that refers to the fact that LA-based Hispanic radio host Ricardo Sanchez (who hosts a Spanish-language drive-time show) has been referring to Trump as “El hombre del peluquín” or the man of the toupee.” A quip Trump treated flippantly as he mentally added an extra foot in height to his planned Great Wall of Mexico.
Because *reasons*, Trump then decides the best course of action is to get a random member of the audience up to closely inspect his plumage.

So… uh… there you have it, we guess?
Still, it wouldn’t be the worst idea in the world to do regular public updates on the state of that tractor flap. It’s in the public interest.