Deuxmoi’s Disciples Are Sharing Celeb’s Spiciest & Completely Fkn Borked Hotel Room Requests

Jennifer Lopez in a black dress with mesh cutout, Tom Cruise wearing a black shirt and Rihanna in a silver halter dress

Gossip guru Deuxmoi’s latest Instagram Q&A delivered the tea, the whole tea and nothing but the tea. The topic? The bloody wildest requests celebrities have made before checking in to their hotel rooms.

I wouldn’t say I stay at hotels regularly but honestly, whenever I’m in one, I’m satisfied if the water pressure in the shower is strong. And if there’s a little chocolate on my pillow after the room has been cleaned? You best believe I’m going hog wild.

Turns out celebrities have far higher expectations than little ol’ me, which isn’t exactly surprising considering they’re A-listers and I’m… me.

On that note, let’s look at the rogue requirements some celebrities have dished out, shall we?

Jennifer Lopez‘s name popped up a few times throughout the Insta Q&A.

Apparently she has a “thing about being on the fourteenth floor of hotels” which is a bit kooky, but nothing too dramatic IMO.

Side note: Mariah Carey demanding her hotel redo its suite “to be all white”? Intriguing.

Another source said J-Lo liked “four diff kinds of milk” which, again, isn’t that zany to me. Who doesn’t like to pick and choose their alternative milks based on what their tummy is telling them?

If you ask me, the absolutely wildest claim on this story is the one about Tom Cruise.

“Tom Cruise checked in under the name ‘Bobby Flanagan’ and wore [a] bad wig around [the] resort.”

I’m genuinely hooting and hollering. Why did he choose such a quintessentially Irish name? If J.K. Rowling hadn’t have called Seamus Finnigan well, Seamus Finnigan, I can absolutely guarantee she would’ve gone with Bobby Flanagan.

Maybe Cruise was in his Derry Girls (the most perfect show to ever exist) era. I also won’t rest until I know what kind of wig he wore. Praying it was a feral mullet.

Back to J-Lo — the #tea really spilled when someone said she wanted “her room painted while she was there for one day” ‘cos “she didn’t like the colour”.

One fkn day? Give me a break.

Also, an NFL player wanting “like 24 pairs of XXL underwear”? Was he planning on shitting himself every hour in the hotel room? If so then go off, Mr Poopy Pants.

Someone also claimed J-Lo asked for a “bathtub full of Evian water” and, understandably, they gave her a tub full of “kitchen water” instead. Extremely valid, if you ask me.

Apparently John Travolta sleeps like a vampire, as well.

Somehow there were more claims about Jennifer Lopez. This woman needs to stop being so picky at hotels, gee whiz.

“Years ago, J-Lo was staying at the 4-star hotel I was working at and refused her room service because the food wasn’t 100 per cent organic,” one of Deuxmoi’s informants wrote.

“She refused it at her door and made my friend — the room service guy — personally stop delivering orders and go to the nearest grocery store to buy her food.

“Then she made our chef prepare it and complained that we tried to feed her kids non-organic food, lol.”

Honestly? I can see all of that happening. Colour me not-very-shocked.

I’m also screaming at Ringo Starr demanding a paper TV guide. The sixties are over, Mr Nose! You can check what’s on the telly by looking at your iPad, a device I am 100 per cent certain you own.

In news that is equal parts unsurprising and revolting, someone claimed James Franco — who’s had several sexual misconduct allegations against him — would book two rooms.

“One where he stayed and a second where all his girls would be sent,” they said.

Screaming! Crying! Throwing up!

I also don’t find it staggering that Post Malone apparently has the diet of a particularly loose 14-year-old boy and Usher flooded a hotel. If Macklemore can set off the hotel fire alarm at 2am because he burned his popcorn, Usher can flood an entire building.

Another source claimed Shania Twain is “the most feared” and “walks out of almost every hotel”.

The idea of Twain being the ultimate celebrity hotel guest boss is undeniably funny. Hey, whatever makes her feel like a woman, I guess.

I also have no idea how Beyoncé would’ve been able to tell if her room’s temperature was off by just one degree? Go with the flow, babes.

Here we have another report of John Travolta only being able to sleep in complete darkness, but this time he also requested a VCR. No idea what that man was watching and, quite frankly, I don’t want to know.

However, I do want to know who was apparently viewing naughty movies and then “disputed” the bill? Maybe they should’ve brought their own VCR à la Mr Travolta.

And is that a claim I see about Channing Tatum root-ratting behind his ex-wife Jenna Dewan‘s back?

“When Channing was married to Jenna he had many ‘sensual kits’ used from the mini bar,” the source said.

“But Jenna wasn’t with him on the trip.”

My biggest eyes emoji ever.

One person said “Rihanna left behind a whip, pasties and glitter” in the bathtub, which is certainly a choice. I hope she had fun.

As juicy as a whip left in a tub is, nothing is more iconic than the claim about Prince (RIP).

“All spiders removed from terrace and no photos of horses anywhere in the suite,” the source said.

I had no idea Prince was a renowned horse hater? I wonder what they ever did to him. This has actually made me slightly sad because I always thought the bloke would’ve loved The Saddle Club.

God, this screenshot is a doozy.

Rihanna apparently requested four humidifiers in her bedroom and another “four in the living room”. The source also said she had a “long rider”, which I’ve just learnt is a list of demands celebrities write into their performance contracts.

A source said Coldplay’s Chris Martin “requested a grand piano” in his room and let me tell you, nothing has filled me with more anguish than imagining the man banging out a depressing ditty on that bad boy. Go and mingle in the lobby! Get out for a bit!

And Jennifer Lawrence having a suite “just for her wedding dress when she got married”? Get a grip, babe.

David Spade also didn’t strike me as a green smoothie man, but you know what? Who am I to judge. Ingest that green goodness.

One source claimed The Weeknd “requested a humidifier and [an] air purifier” and “stole both”. Why am I dying at that nugget of information? You’re worth oodles of money, just buy them yourself?

Another said “Ashley Judd demanded 12 lemons cut in half individually wrapped in a glass bowl, daily” which is, quite possibly, the most nonsensical request in this entire Instagram Q&A. 24 lemon halves is an absolutely absurd amount of lemons.

And noted green smoothie lover David Spade was apparently “always” at a certain five-star hotel in Orange Country with “a new woman”. Quelle scandal.

Boy, this is juicy. One of Deuxmoi’s informants claimed a certain celebrity had an “adjoining room to their mistress”. I demand names ASAP. Tell me more!

Another one said Kanye “rearranged all the furniture and ruined some of it” which is, quite frankly, extremely on-brand for him.

I also find it weirdly normal that Ben Stiller apparently only wore “underwear from an unopened package every morning”. I don’t mean it’s typical for everyone, but just for him.

Someone said Madonna wore “her cleats inside on the marble floors when filming A League of Their Own“, which would “make the staff upset” ‘cos it was fucking up the floors. Show me a more Madonna move — you can’t.

I’m also screaming at how “peak dad energy” the claim about Harrison Ford is.

“Harrison Ford wore his Indiana Jones hat inside and [the hotel staff] didn’t know whether to call him by his real name or the name he booked the hotel under, because it was obvious who he was,” the source said.

“Was very quiet and nice tho [sic] apparently.”

I hope the name he booked the room under was Indiana Jones. Or Han Solo. Either one would’ve been perfect.

And that’s it! Chuck Deuxmoi a follow on Instagram to keep up-to-date with all things celebrity gossip.