Self isolation has been a real time, hasn’t it? Already, I’m using it as a stellar excuse to just not exercise and instead watch copious amounts of TV – especially trash TV, like new Netflix series Dare Me. I’m coining it as the melodramatic version of Cheer.

Dare Me is about cheerleading – der. But it’s also about sassy teenage girls who are mild psychopaths, and a cheer coach ~with a secret~. Intrigued? You bet your sweet bippy you are.

The premise is this. You’ve got Head Cheerleader Beth. She’s all chaotic energy – her dad’s split with her mum and hooked up with their NEXT DOOR NEIGHBOUR, had a kid with her, and moved in over there. Oh and that kid? Also on the cheerleading squad.

Then there’s Addy, Beth’s best friend. She’s starting to think more about college and less about going out / getting fucked up with Beth. So there’s some tension between them even before… new Cheer Coach Colette arrives.

Colette is 28 but honestly they went with Willa Fitzgerald to play her, who could easily pass as a sophomore in high school. But whatever – she’s 28, a star cheerleading coach, with a hot husband and cute baby. Living the dream, right? WRONG.

I won’t give you any more than that plot-wise because this is a show FULL of twists and intrigue. That being said, don’t come in expecting it to be some new version of The Sinner or anything. This show is more in line with Riverdale – trashy, melodramatic and pretty fucking stupid.

For example, in the first episode we cop a mysterious intro involving people running through the woods covered in blood. Or there’s blood involved, I’ve kind of forgotten because we get about 0.0002 seconds of extra info each episode, drip fed to us SOOOO SLOWLY that you kind of stop giving a shit about what it’s all about.

It reminds me of the beginning of Game Of Thrones, when we had the kid with the blue eyes and the weird White Walker symbols made of body parts? Except then it took about 40 seasons to get any further information about all of that? It’s like that, except it’s not Emmy award-winning.

However, if you’re bored at home and enjoyed the epic Netflix doco Cheer, this is the show you’ve been waiting for. There’s cheerleaders. There’s enough trashy drama to keep you disgustingly hooked episode on episode. Everyone is hot. It’s all there, you know?

You’ll hate watch the whole thing and be left feeling like you ate an entire Neapolitan ice cream tub.