This Company, I Shit You Not, Will Dye Your Dam To Match The Colour Of Your Wedding Dress

There is a company out there for everything when it comes to weddings these days – want to hold a doughnut bouquet? You got it. Wanna have an alpaca walk you down the aisle? Sure. Want your dam dyed to match your wedding colours? DONE.

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Yep, Big Ditch will come to your farm (or the farm you hire, I guess) and tone your dam to match your wedding dress, or your bridesmaids dresses, or whatever you want.

“Our research lab has finally developed a completely organic, non-toxic, bio-degradable, proprietary fresh water aquadye process in a range of hues to colour match even the largest dam for your fashionable rural or farm wedding,” says the Gumtree ad.

They also promise that the colour will last 30 days approximately, or can be removed the next day – is this some kind of dark magic? How do they just remove the colour? Madness.

It’s also, which is good news for water-living critters, safe for flora and fauna.

The hottest new season fashion colours are available – sexy pink, fuchsia, fire engine red, moody maroon, soft pastel blue, winter sky blue, electric blue, deep ocean blue, royal gold, sepia, fawn, persimmon & chartreuse.

The only colours they can’t do are white and black. Which like, no one needs a milky pond of water in their wedding shot in my opinion.

Weirdly, the offering isn’t listed on the linked website, Big Ditch – but the Gumtree ad is alive and kicking, so flick ’em your details if you want a pond of pink water at your wedding.

You know what, I always think everyone’s thought of everything – and then you come across something like this.

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