Christmas is a truly blessed time of year. That is, unless, you’re stuck buying a gift for someone you don’t really like – at all. It might be an annoying relative or that pesky colleague who’s name you’ve pulled for Secret Santa. The only remedy? Turning to our carefully curated list of absolutely cursed Christmas presents that serve absolutely no purpose at all, except to irritate the person who has received them.
The wholesome mug telling them to ‘have a nice day’ actually flips the bird at everyone as they take a sip. That useful bicycle light is actually a pair of glow-in-the-dark hanging testicles. And the sticker of Shrek and Lord Farquad locked in a passionate embrace? There’s actually no explanation for that one, it’s just disturbing.
Anyway, enough teasing. Below, you can behold our gift to you – 11 of the most cursed Christmas presents to gift that one annoying person this year. May it bring them as much irritation as they have brought you.
Have A Great Day Novelty Mug ($29.99)
Top of the morning to you.
Egg Yolk Fish Separator ($19.95)
They can have their eggs spat out by a fish before eating them. Disgusten.
52 Poodokus to Do While You Poo Hardcover Book by Hugh Jassman ($9.09)
Hugh Jassburn – we love your work.
Ball Sack Bicycle Lights ($39.90)
Hey, at leas they’ll never be hit by a car while bike riding at night.
The Singing Floating Pasta Timer ($39.95)
This man will sing at the top of his lungs when your pasta is cooked. How irritating.
First World Problems Card Game ($30)
Know someone who’s a chronic whinger? This one’s for them.
Shrek and Lord Farquad Kiss Kiss Sticker ($2.91)
No caption on earth would do this sticker justice.
Llama Cleaning Slippers ($17.49)
Hideous but practical – you can’t win them all.
Help them get that summer body one finger at a time.
Duncan The Drinking Bird ($18.99)
Hideous? Yes. Will they be too embarrassed to put it on their desk at work? Yes.
Gigantic Smiling Poo Pool Float ($13.20)
Let them soak up the summer sun on a giant floating turd.
