Goodness me.

It’s been a real carnival of male insecurities on this season of the Bachelorette. What with Jarrod‘s unsettlingly laser-focused devotion, Sam‘s repulsive smarm and Ryan‘s literal serial killer vibes, we’ve almost collected a full card in Blokes To Avoid At The Pub bingo.

Oh, and here comes the final square: it’s Blake, coming in hot to the hometown visits with all the charm and sincerity of a rat with a gold tooth.


But first, here are the three other blokes, bringing the expected blend of sweet grannies and pointed questions as to Sophie Monk‘s intentions with their precious boys (sometimes in the one package, as in the case of Apollo’s gimlet-eyed 94-year-old Grandma Elly).

Stu managed to drop a beanus-related bombshell – he’s had a vasectomy! unconscionable that he should want to stop reproducing after having four children – and Apollo‘s family were the final nail in the coffin of most of Australia‘s fatal crush on him, but it was Blake’s final go-around that really took the bloody cake tonight.

After swearing up and down that he’d have Sophie’s back during dinner with the fam, the “entrepreneur” spent most of the meal staring at his plate while his mother and sister grilled Sophie like a prawn at a Christmas barbecue. So much for that all-important spousal support.

So yeah, unsurprisingly, it was off with his head rose. And that was when we got treated to the best exit wobbly-chuck to date.

Faced with the opportunity to have a friendly goodbye and wish Sophie luck, Blake essentially screeched YOUR LOSS into her face and flounced the hell outta there, in a great impression of a guy who’s not mad at all. He’s laughing, actually.

Were we impressed?

No. No we were not.

Tune in next week to see if Apollo really can use his magician powers to reverse Stu’s vasectomy so the three of them can enter into a beautiful, boat-dwelling polyamorous triad, and sail far, far away from Jarrod.

We can dream.

Image: Channel 10