Christina Aguilera Enlists M.I.A. and Santigold For New Album

CUSTOMER: Hey dude is this a female only DFA mix?
RECORD STORE GUY: Um no. It’s the new Christina Aguilera album.
CUSTOMER: Hahahaha
RECORD STORE GUY: No dude, seriously…
CUSTOMER: Haha (laugh slowly wanes, looks again in disbelief)
RECORD STORE GUY: I know right?
CUSTOMER: But….I’m…Sia..really?
RECORD STORE GUY: Uhuh. Trust me I’m as confused as you are.
CUSTOMER: (Discreetly slips a twenty on the counter) Can you bag this?
RECORD STORE GUY: No judgment man I bought a copy home with me yesterday.
CUSTOMER: OK cool. I can always say I bought it ironically anyway. Or…can…I?
RECORD STORE GUY: I just don’t know anymore man, I just don’t know.


When did this happen? We ignore Christin Aguilera for a couple of years beyond ridiculing her ill-advised Dirrty phase and assuming that Britney won when BAM! Like a genie in a bottle Xtina slowly pieces together the most anticipated album of all-time (no exaggeration). Seriously, it’s gonna be killer. Hell we might even buy it just to see if it’s real.

Why is that you ask? Well it’s all about the feat. with Ms. Aguilera skillfully wrangling a cavalcade of dance music’s brightest stars. Her latest recruits to the already stellar contributor list are dancefloor divas M.I.A. and Santigold bringing the shit-hot collaborator total to six with Le Tigre, Sia, Goldfrapp, Ladytron, M.I.A. and Santigold all reportedly lending their talent to the project.

Concrete details are scarce but Aguilera has stated: ‘I know I can’t let too much out the bag too soon. I think I’m most proud of this work than I’ve ever been, just because I worked with so many amazing and incredibly talented people.’ See kids? If you can’t earn credibility then just buy it.

Title Image by Dimitrious Kambouris via Getty