Chrissy Teigen has returned to social media after a month of radio silence to apologise for her recently resurfaced comments about Courtney Stodden and Lindsay Lohan.
“I know I’ve been quiet, and lord knows you don’t want to hear about me, but I want you to know I’ve been sitting in a hole of deserved global punishment, the ultimate ‘sit here and think about what you’ve done’. Not a day, not a single moment has passed where I haven’t felt the crushing weight of regret for the things I’ve said in the past.”
Chrissy Teigen went on to say that she’s “truly ashamed” of her “old awful (awful, awful) tweets.
“As I look at them and understand the hurt they caused, I have to stop and wonder: How could I have done that?” she added.
“I’ve apologised publicly to one person, but there are others — and more than just a few — who I need to say I’m sorry to. I’m in the process of privately reaching out to the people I insulted. It’s like my own version of that show My Name is Earl! I understand that they may not want to speak to me. I don’t think I’d like to speak to me. (The real truth in all of this is how much I actually cannot take confrontation.) But if they do, I am here and I will listen to what they have to say, while apologising through sobs.
“There is simply no excuse for my past horrible tweets. My targets didn’t deserve them. No one does. Many of them needed empathy, kindness, understanding and support, not my meanness masquerading as a kind of casual, edgy humour.”
And here’s the real kicker: “I was a troll, full stop. And I am so sorry.”
“I want to go a little further here, thinking of those I’ve hurt and friends I’ve disappointed,” she added. “When I first started using social media, I had so much fun with it. I made jokes, random observations. Think of all the engineers, working day and night to develop this amazing new platform and technology, connecting people all over the world to learn, create, and find kindred spirits. And I used it to snark at some celebrities.”
Chrissy Teigen writes, “In reality, I was insecure, immature and in a world where I thought I needed to impress strangers to be accepted. If there was a pop culture pile-on, I took to Twitter to try to gain attention and show off what I at the time believed was a crude, clever, harmless quip. I thought it made me cool and relatable if I poked fun at celebrities.
“I wasn’t mean in my everyday life. More than once, someone would come up to me and say, ‘You’re so much nicer in person.’ Why was that not a huge red flag? But I took it in and tossed it aside. I did book signings where girls would call me a bad ass bitch, and I’d stretch my arm toward them as they walked away, looking at my friends and saying, ‘I promise, I’m not!’
“At the time, I just didn’t get it. Believe me, I get it now.”
She says she’s writing this letter “for context, not seeking or deserving any sympathy. There’s no justification for my behaviour. I’m not a victim here. The subjects of your sympathy — and mine — should be those I put down.”
Chrissy Teigen then revealed that through therapy, she changed her ways and became a better person.
“The truth is, I’m no longer the person who wrote those horrible things. I grew up, got therapy, got married, had kids, got more therapy, experienced loss and pain, got more therapy and experienced more life. AND GOT MORE THERAPY.
“Life has made me more empathetic. I’m more understanding of what motivates trolling — the instant gratification that you get from lashing out and clapping back, throwing rocks at someone you think is invincible because they’re famous. Also, I know now how it feels to be on the receiving end of incredible vitriol. Believe me, the irony of this is not lost on me.”
A one point there’s a highlighted sentence, which I guess is meant to be emphasised here:
We are all more than our worst moments.
She concludes: I won’t ask for your forgiveness, only your patience and tolerance. I ask that you allow me, as I promise to allow you, to own past mistakes and be given the opportunity to seek self improvement and change.
“Phew. A lot, I know. Thanks for listening.”
Have a read of the full thing here.