Chris Hemsworth is People’s Sexiest Man Alive

You know how some men are sort of ‘sexy’? Like, there’s that one guy who makes your coffee sometimes, and he just has that thing about him where, even though you consider yourself to be a straight guy, you might fool around with him a bit? Then there’s Ryan ‘Hey Girl’ Gosling, who had his pick of almost anybody to put a baby inside, but chose Eva Mendes, because she is also, by traditional standards, very ‘sexy’?
Today, after an exhaustive study, the scientists at People Magazine have concluded that, of all the sexy men in the world, Australia’s own hunk of sweaty manhood Chris Hemsworth is in fact the sexiest. So much so that they have placed him on the cover of volume 35 of their academic journal ‘The Sexiest Men Alive.’ 

As is customary, all other, less sexy men, like Chris Pratt and Idris Elba, must now pluck their own eyes out, and live the rest of their lives weeping and wailing in shame, for they are unfit to gaze upon Chris Hemsworth’s perfection.

Photo: Alberto E Rodriquez via Getty Images

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