Full disclosure right off the bat: I love The Chrises. All of the Chrises, give them to me now. They’re handsome, they’re tall, they’re funny, they’re frequently shirtless and they’re honestly just a gift. The fact that they’re all (apart from Chris Pine, but frankly he’s my least favourite) going to be in Avengers: Infinity War means I am hanging out to see this film with a little too much enthusiasm.

Especially because Chris Evans, aka Captain America, probably won’t be donning the red, blue and white lycra ever again.

In a lengthy New York Times profile, Evans casually dropped the bomb that after the two Avengers flicks on the schedule, he’s bloody well done. The article states that “For now, he has no plans to return to the franchise” and quotes the actor as saying: “You want to get off the train before they push you off.”

wait, what?

Later in the article, he attempts to explain his decision without sounding like a wanker, but kinda just ends up sounding like a wanker.

When I think about the times that I’m happiest, it’s not on a movie set. I’ve stopped thinking about my trajectory, or my oeuvre, or whatever pretentious word you want to use. I’m just following whatever I feel creatively hungry for.

Say oeuvre again, I dare ya.

Another little truth bomb buried in the lengthy yarn is that Evans has once again split with his on-off gf Jenny Slate, with the outlet stating: “their on-again, off-again relationship, beloved by the internet, recently ended”.

Once again, it’s just a throwaway line, but it’s a line I jumped on with wild abandon.

The third interesting takeaway from the interview (honestly, I’ve done the reading for you so you don’t even need to bother at this point) is Evans’ new hobby: tap dancing.

The NYT reports that he’s currently getting private lessons from a friend and believes that “tap is waiting to have its day”, going so far as to compare it to hip hop dancing and saying it’s due for a comeback.

Clearly Evans has not seen the classic 2000 film Bootmen, set in my blue-collar hometown of Newcastle and starring Adam Garcia and a pre-Lara Sam Worthington as flanno-wearing steelworkers who can also throw down on the tap dancing scene.

Looks like I’ve found Evans his next gig: an American remake set in the rough streets of New Jersey.

get you a man who can do this

Thank me later, pal.

Image: Marvel