Chris Brown teaches children to read?

Besides the gun wielding, bullying, sexually active at the age of 9, obese students, we’ve just discovered another reason why we’re glad we don’t, and our children won’t, be raised in the American school system.

That reason is Chris Brown.

Despite his conviction for beating up Rihanna last year, the singer was invited to Harlem’s Sisulu-Walker Charter School’s Annual “Family Read Night”.

Ok, let’s just clear this up a little bit. He wasn’t actually personally ‘invited’ per-se, but rather, as the school’s principal Dawn Cejas said, they had “…extended an invitation to all celebrities and politicians, and we had an acceptance by him.” Hmmm. Wasn’t anyone without a criminal record available? Probably not.

Ok, so, I’d rather Chris Brown read to my offspring than George W. Bush because there is more chance of grammatical correctness, but c’mon, America.

I gotta say, I’m very much enjoying the fact that after the principal announced that Chris Brown would be involved in the school “Read Night” function, she felt the need to add that the evening was geared to encourage students to read. Yep, that’s what it sounds like.

Look, im pretty sure Chris Brown could teach our kids a whole heap of stuff, but reading isn’t one of them.

Reformed girlfriend beater or not, I have no doubt, I, for one, would be very vocal at this school’s Parent/Teacher night. And for some reason, I’m getting all these Zoolander “kids who can’t read good” things happening. But like, instead it’s “guest singers/criminals who can’t read good.”

O.K, so I just stooped low. But Sisulu-Walker Charter School stooped lower.

Title Image by Kevork Djansezian via Getty