Charlie Sheen Wants To Run For President, Will Probably F’kn Win

It seems distant now, but there was a time when it seemed like Donald Trump could never be a viable candidate to snatch the presidency of the United States of America, and yet here we all are. 
In this strange new world, who’s to say that tiger blood-haver and violent torpedo of truth-rider Charlie Sheen can’t become the notional leader of the free world?
Earlier this week, Sheen caused a minor internet kerfuffle via his Twitter feed, when he responded to the recent rush of celebrity deaths with a spicy: “Dear God; Trump next please!”
Former Republican presidential hopeful Ted Cruz admonished Sheen for his bad joke and offered him some biblical guidance, because that’s where political discourse is at in 2016: 

Based solely on the fact that Ted Cruz noticed him (I assume), Charlie Sheen is now plotting a presidential run in 2020, with the conservative Texan senator as his VP. He has a logo and everything: 

“C’mon Ted Cruz,” the former Two And A Half Men star wrote. “In 4 years we can unseat this guy!! You bring the AWESOME, I’ll bring the WINNING!!” That’s as coherent a political platform as we’ve heard in recent times, so sure. 
Apparently, since he was knocked out of the race for the Republican nomination, Ted Cruz has been sitting at home honing his sass, because he snapped back with what we’ll admit is a pretty f’kn solid bit of repartee:

We can all laugh about it now but we won’t be laughing in f’kn January 2021 when Charlie Sheen is solemnly swearing to execute his duties as President of the United States. Interesting times, people.

Source: NY Times.
Photo: David M Bennett / Getty.

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