Channel 7 Will Only Warn You Twice

Hey Channel Seven staffers you’re officially on notice! Following Jodi Gordon’s paranoid episode with a Bikie (Underbelly 4: Trapped In A Bikie’s Closet) and Todd Lasance’s recent cocaine bust the Seven network have now implemented a two strikes and you’re out policy with regard to drug use.

We assume it’s two strikes because half their talent would be screwed if it was a zero tolerance policy. To clarify why it’s TWO strikes a network spokesman shed some light on the policy yesterday: “We have access to the best advice and systems in order to manage crises or events such as this but, fundamentally, responsibility and discipline must be followed through. There are no second chances.”

Only first chances right? Of course what this actually means is: You can do all the drugs your inflated salary affords, just don’t get caught or act suspiciously in toilets or hang out with bikies Jodi Gordon you crazy woman. Have we mentioned how batshit crazy Jodi Gordon’s bikie thing was? She should totally re-record the Home And Away theme song with these lyrics: “Hold me in Your Arms…Don’t Let me Go…. I want to stay For-ever…No seriously I want to stay in this apartment forever. Are there people watching us outside? Who’s at the door? Did you hear that knock? Where am I? Who are you?”