Celebrity Chef Curtis Stone Married Lindsay Price, Actress From That Thing, You Know

Family-sized mouth set in its default position [agape], celebrity proboscis and face of Coles supermarkets Curtis Stone last week said ‘sure I do’ to his beau, that actress from the thing on TV – you know, that thing – Lindsay Price in a low key ceremony that might have been attended by Oprah (maybe, she’s pretty free these days) in Mallorca, the photos of which have just surfaced on The Internet and in The News.

A. Source, [probably tartar, recipe here; sorry] dished to Us Weekly that “The four day festivities included an evening ceremony where guests danced under the stars and enjoyed a day out on the Mediterranean the following day,” apparently reading verbatim from the couple’s official statement.

Struggling between mouthfuls, the source continued that Stone “prepared the wedding cake, which was Lindsay’s favorite, carrot and walnut cake,” before spitting the half-masticated sponge into a napkin and feeding it to the couple’s child Hudson like a bird because gross, carrot and walnut, euuugh what is this, a salad?
Aside from the fact that Lindsay’s head appears to be no longer attached to its body: congratulations!