Despite the fact that they were spotted on a jet-ski together in Puerto Rico, Cardi B swears black and blue that her and Offset have not fallen back into a relationship – she just really needed a dicking down for the holidays.
[jwplayer zHHOofc9]
Hun, same.
After everyone was like ???? about the pair being in Puerto Rico together, Cardi B has taken to her Instagram to set the record straight, and let the courts hear that this girl just very much needed some good dick for Christmas.
Once someone asked “you and your boo back together?” Cardi responded:
No, I just had to get fucked, that’s all. I feel rejuvenated, bitch. I feel so rejuvenated, I feel baptised. Bitch, I feel fuckin’ baptised, bitch. I feel like a brand new fuckin’ woman.
Speaking in Spanish for the first two minutes of her latest live video to get people to stop recording her so “blogs” stop posting about her, Cardi then launched into blasting the jetski company for 1. selling pictures of her to TMZ and 2. taking her right out into the ocean where she “even saw a fuckin’ dolphin.“, can’t swim, and lost her Chanel scarf.
Cardi went on to talk about how she got mosquito bites while on her trip, pondering that if a mozzie bit her on the titty, does that mean that the mosquito also sucked her titty? Ya girl’s out here asking the deep stuff. Age-old questions.
Praises be unto the fucc lords who blessed Cardi with some hearty Christmas D. Deck the halls and ring the bells, Cardi is ready to take on 2019 with a vengeance.
Check out the whole video below, and good lord I hope she’s found time to buy presents.
https://youtu.be/5UAF9Sq6gBg
Cardi B burping and farting on camera is hands down the Christmas present we deserve in this, the year of 2018.
