WARNING: This article contains spoilers for season one of Byron Baes!
Byron Baes has been on Netflix for a few weeks now and to be honest, it’s still living in our minds rent free. I’ve been thinking about the story arcs, bonkers moments, insane quotes, and Elias‘ abs for far too long.
One element of the show that I’ve been musing on is the different “edits” we saw for each person. I thought what Byron Baes did well was swerve plotlines so that people you thought were the villains at the start ended up being your faves at the end. So it got me thinking, which Byron Baes star got the kindest edit?
Join me as I deep dive into each and give them a ranking out of 10.
Elias
I have nothing bad to say about Elias. I definitely misjudged him because he’s far too good-looking and I assumed he’d be a beautiful idiot. But the way he psycho-analysed Nathan during their heated confrontation was nothing short of genius.
Elias is a secure king who actually thinks deeply about what’s going on around him and the nuances of human behaviour, unlike literally everyone else on this show. My only complaint is that he didn’t get much air time once his beef with Nathan was done.
Edit: 10/10
Hannah
Hannah is basically the first person we meet in Byron Baes, and she’s like a parody of herself — a nouveau-hippie type who even has a sound healing ceremony at her house party.
Draped in shawls, clutching crystals and speaking in a dreamy voice, she’s how I imagine Professor Trelawney from Harry Potter was in her 20s. My favourite moment was her screaming with ecstasy as if the gemstone that Jade gifted her was a solid gold bullion.
Hannah is absolutely bonkers, and though it’s a bit jarring in episode one, she ends up being quite endearing. From her progressive views on dragon bones to her excellent shit-stirring at the Gold Coast boat party, any episode that didn’t feature Hannah was a swing and a miss, for me.
Edit: 9/10
Cai
I actually feel a bit sorry for Byron Bay local Cai. He’s a genuinely lovely person who seemed absolutely bemused by all the drama around him. The poor guy even had an art show which became completely derailed by a screaming match between Jade and Alex. (Thank fuck the latter actually purchased some prints, it was the least he could do.)
Another incredible moment was when Cai ran an art class for the girls which also became derailed by Hannah confronting Elle for unfollowing her on Instagram.
Poor Cai is like a deer in the headlights for most of this series, and I reckon he would have needed a full week of sound healing to recover.
Edit: 8/10
Sarah
Sweet angel Sarah is one of our two token new kids on the block — a wannabe singer who moves to Byron from the Gold Coast to see if she can “make it”. Sadly, she doesn’t make it at all, unless “making it” is classified as being sloppily kissed by Nathan at a Mexican restaurant.
The poor girl found herself on the outer of Byron Bay’s cliques, despite half-baked attempts (read: a hilltop friendship healing ceremony) by Hannah to include her.
My one criticism of Sarah was when she threw Elias under the bus for calling Nathan a fuckboi, but aside from that she definitely copped a sympathetic edit. I just wish the producers hadn’t made her date said fuckboi.
Edit: 8/10
Jade
Turkey’s biggest influencer Jade is another newbie to Byron and he has a much smoother journey than poor Sarah. Aligning himself with the Jess/Lauren combo seems to be a good move for him — he finds his clique, but is open to being friends with everyone. If this was Survivor, he’d be going straight to the final two with that kind of social game.
The spiciest moment in Jade’s edit was his conflict with Alex, who had a real vendetta against Jade for apparently buying Instagram followers. This exploded in a spectacular fight at poor Cai’s art show, which brought me much joy as a viewer. I do love a public, pinot grigio-fuelled screaming match.
Once his beef with Alex subsided, Jade became a bit of a background player but I did love his general energy.
Edit: 7/10
Alex
Alex is an interesting Byron Baes character to me. He sure had his villainous moments — having it in for Jade was a bit weird, like is that the hill you really wanna die on? But weirdly, I found Alex to be the voice of reason for large chunks of this show.
Sure, he probably shouldn’t have loudly dissed the Jess/Lauren fashion parade but honestly, he was just saying what we were all thinking.
Alex also had Sarah’s back from day bloody dot. His hero moment was going in to bat for her when she couldn’t bring herself to go to Nathan’s party. For someone set up to be a bit of an antagonist, I ended up really appreciating Alex and his savage one-liners by the end.
Edit: 7/10
Simba
Simba (potentially not his real name) is a bit like Hannah in that his job was to bring the cliché Byron Bay parody into the cast. He literally said at one point “I’m not an influencer, I’m an inspirer”, hosted a cacao party, wore clashing animal prints and twirls fire sticks for a living.
I was this close to hating him, but then we learned that a personal tragedy led Simba to ditch the high-flying corporate life and pursue being a spiritual healer. So I kind of forgave him for being the way he is.
Basically, Simba’s whole schtick was being a bit of a peacemaker, which I’ve always found an annoying character in reality TV. Either cause some drama or leave!
Edit: 6/10
Jess & Lauren
These two are interchangeable in my head. Which one is Jess? Which one is Lauren? Will we ever know? Do I care? All I know is that they were the vaguely villainous sisters who popped in to instigate mild amounts of drama before disappearing for three episodes and returning to make spicy comments at yet another party.
Unlike some of the others, Jess and Lauren were born and raised in Byron Bay. Apparently this means they must talk huge amounts of shit about the Gold Coast, a quota they fill in every episode.
Edit: 5/10
Saskia & Frimmy (?)
Ah, Saskia and Frimmy? Grimmy? Dimmy? I have no idea what her husband’s name is. Anyway, Saskia first appeared as a supporting character offering some diplomatic reactions to drama, before she turned that shit up to ELEVEN by the end of the series.
The woman was a chaos merchant, and stirred up a bunch of shit by spreading the goss that Elle and Nathan hooked up. I live for it, because every reality show needs a master shit-stirrer.
Meanwhile, Frimmy (pretty sure it’s Frimmy) has about two lines in the show, but seems like kind of a chill stoner. It’s on-brand for him to avoid drama like the plague.
Edit: 4/10
Nathan
Just an awful, awful arc for this man. When we first met Nathan he seemed to be vaguely drifting around the outer suburbs of the Byron Bay area, popping into houses and inviting people to parties.
He did this for a few episodes, then dived into villain territory with his treatment of angel Sarah, his verbal biffo with Elias, and his unconventional relationship with his housemate Elle. The whole series ends with him getting a talking-to from Alex at his own party, and Sarah high-tailing it outta Byron mainly to get away from him. Yikes.
Edit: 2/10
Elle
Elle does not have a great narrative on Byron Baes. She lives with Nathan and has a possessive vibe with him, even though she has a perfectly lovely boyfriend named Stav who happens to travel a lot for work.
Obviously it transpired that she and Nathan have hooked up, hence the odd vibes there. Doing this to Stav is one thing, but to gaslight Sarah and everyone else that it “meant nothing” and they were the ones being weird is just not okay. Also, wtf was with that mermaid statue?
Edit: 1/10
