I don’t mean to alarm you but Burt Ward, who played Robin in the 60s Batman TV show, reckons he was asked to take pills to shrink his rather large bulge.
The actor received a star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame this week, and naturally felt the need to use the ceremony to discuss how huge his schlong is.
“They thought Robin had a very large bulge for television,” he told Page Six.
Basically, during his time as the Boy Wonder (who was actually a fully grown man with a fully and-then-some grown penis), ABC allegedly asked him to get rid of the bulge, and gave him medicine that would “shrink [him] up.”
Apparently the 60s were a time in which Hollywood executives could force you to shrink your dick for a role.
The Catholic League of Decency complained to the American Broadcasting Company about the enormous bulge in the tight-fitting Caped Crusader costumes.
It’s unclear what kind of pills the studio doctor allegedly prescribed to Ward, but he claims it didn’t take him long to realise that dick-shrinking pills likely carry some nasty side effects.
“I took them for three days and then I decided that they can probably keep me from having children,” he said. “I stopped doing that and I just used my cape to cover it.”
He also took the opportunity to take a jab at co-star Adam West, who he claims needed to “put Turkish towels in his undershorts.”
A similar story is shared in Ward’s autobiography Boy Wonder: My Life In Tights. If the cover image of a man’s crotch in uber-tight shorts wasn’t enough to convince you this story has some dicks in it, maybe his description of his enormous junk will.
“Dancer’s belts, jockstraps, double-thick jockey shorts, dong socks, testicle supports, padded underwear… nothing reduced the swelling! Not even ice packs!”
Cool, cool, cool. Batman is officially ruined.