Last night endearing Brisbane couple Dan and Steph were crowned the winners of My Kitchen Rules for 2013, securing a cash prize of $250,000 and the indisputable confirmation that their kitchen rules over all other kitchens, but particularly the kitchen of runners up, Sunshine Coast glamour-siblings Jake and Elle.
Pedestrian’s reality cooking show and all ’round food obsessive, Katie Head, provided a recap of the episode that garnered a massive audience of 2.95 million viewers, capping off an extraordinary ratings win for Channel Seven throughout the series.
Katie: It was Brisbane tradie Dan and “his lady” Steph versus Gold Coast brother and sister Jake and Elle. Jake is a dancer and waiter in his spare time. Elle colours her hair a vibrant shade of burgundy/red/purple at all times. I feel like they are tres rich because in the opening credit promo thing they are sipping on Moet, so they must drink it like water! Also they are youngest contestants EVER ON Any season of MKR ever! EVER! MOET YOUNGEST WOWEE!?!!
Dan and Steph, on the other hand, have a less glamourous story arc that centred around the implication that they NEED TO WIN IN ORDER TO CONTINUE TO LIVE AFTER THE SHOW IS OVER. One can only presume they live in a hovel without access to electricity or iPhones or materials for sausage crafting. Also, they really wanted to start a family and kids are fkn expensive so literally everything is riding on this moment.
Anyway, they had to cook FIVE courses per team with each producing 100 plates of food. Do you want to know what they cooked? I can’t bloody remember. [Ed note: you can get the full menu at the MKR website.] Anyway, during the bout all the old contestants were back and it was so great to see them all* before they are forever banished to the Graveyard Of Never-Was Reality TV Contestants.
In the end all that is important is that Dan and Steph were victorious and now they can go home and start having babies until the cows come home, and also open the sausage shop of their fantasies! And Jake and Elle can go back to the Coast and crack open some commiseration French champagnes until the ink dries on Elle’s contract hocking brightly coloured hair dyes. The end!
*no it wasn’t.
