The Beauty & The Geek finale is here and has honestly I don’t know how I’m going to get through my midweek schlump without this show.

The last three pairs left in the finale tonight were Eliza and Alex, Josie and George, and finally, Kiera and Lachie.

To give you a quick little recap, Eliza/Alex are BFF goals and have developed the platonic friendship of a lifetime. We love the normalisation of best friendships as a source of life-changing love, too!!!!

Josie and George are the only romantic couple in the finale, and honestly, they’re hot. George went from Geek to Fuckboy during his makeover and it’s kind of wild. They’re pretty cute together but also one of the less ~emotional~ pairings.

And then we have Kiera and Lachie. Lachie has been the heart and soul of this season. He is an ANGEL. No one matches his sincerity. Kiera started off the show really insecure, but she’s finally found reassurance and grounding in Lachie.

Anyway, it was imperative to catch you up on everyone’s dynamic’s because the Beauty & The Geek finale challenge was… a horny Magic Mike performance.

Yes, the Geeks had to channel their inner Channing Tatum and deliver a sexy performance with their beauties, inclusive of steamy rain, wet bodies and a lot of horny teasing. I thought that was a little unfair since Josie is a professional dancer and this seems rigged for couples who have sexual tension, but it is what it is.

Eliza and Alex were up first, and they had fun being silly yet charming and it was ADORABLE. Words cannot describe how infectious their joy is. Go team!!!!

Kiera and Lachie were next, and… it wasn’t as bad as everyone was worried it would be!!! Sure it was awkward, but they were trying their best and being vulnerable, and clearly the crowd noticed that, because they got a standing ovation!!!

I know I’ve never really been a fan of these two being paired together, but when Kiera burst into tears out of pride for Lachie and told him she loves him, my icey heart melted. It was cute and I love platonic love!!!!!!!!! Did I cry a little bit?? YES.

Anyway, that left our two horny lovebirds Josie and George, and honestly… I’m speechless. It was tense, it was hot, it was charismatic, and they had a horny make out on stage. Basically, I watched some porn and I am feeling very flustered.

But the winners weren’t just being chosen based on their performance. After the dances, the pairs were taken back to Beauty & The Geek headquarters and told to pitch how much they’ve changed and grown to the eliminated contestants – and then their past team mates would pick a winner.

Eliza and Alex were up first. Their solo conversations were beautiful, honest, vulnerable and made me cry, but their pitch was disappointing. They both cried, hugged each other, and told each other how much it meant to have the friendship they did, but you can tell they kind of forgot what they wanted to talk about.

Josie and George were next, and it was classic ‘I’ve found someone who respects me’ vibes. And then George dropped the bombshell that if he won the $100,000 on the show, he would move to Sydney to be with Josie. Which just… SCREAMS. How could you say no to that now?? Who wants to be responsible for breaking up this couple?? A great move by George.

And then of course, Lachie and Kiera. Lachie spoke first, saying how this was the first time in his life he experienced being loved and cared for by someone like he deserved. Kiera spoke about never feeling beautiful or attractive or good enough, and that Lachie gave her the reassurance and validation she’s been seeking her whole life.

It was beautiful and heart breaking and I cried over my laptop because this is too fucking emotional. They both sobbed, they both said I love you to each other, and it was the most beautiful and genuine TV affection I’ve ever seen.

I honestly feel sorry for the other contestants having to judge this and pick a winner. Imagine having to watch these crying, love-struck fools and only pick *one* to win????? I’d rather eat a cockroach.

But alas, they did their jobs and voted for a winner.

Beauty & The Geek finale winners are … Lachie and Kiera!!!! YES BITCH!!!!!!!!!!!!

They deserved it and I am a MESS!!!

Lachie and Kiera are not the type of people I’m used to seeing on reality TV – they’re just so real, they’re the kind of people I actually meet and befriend in real life.

Lachie and Kiera were consistently vulnerable on the show, being open and honest about their struggles and I am SOBBING!!!

What a beautiful end to such a wholesome show.

You can catch up on the Beauty & The Geek finale on 9Now.