In news that has absolutely sent me, former Janoskians star Beau Brooks is flogging bags of his pubes for $300 a pop.
Let me just preface this by saying I am pro-sex work and have no issue with anyone selling their nudes, or exchanging sexual services for money. But for the love of god, I did not want to see bags of Beau Brooks’ pubic hair on my Instagram feed.
For the measly price of $300 for a full bag, or $150 for a half bag, you can become the proud (?) owner of Beau Brooks’ pubic hair. In what can only be described as great value for money, the bags come complete with a verified signature (to make sure they’re not someone else’s pubes, I guess) and a video message thanking you.
“Selling my pubes. $300 for a full bag, $150 for a half bag. Will come with a verified signature and a video message saying “name” and “thank you for buying my pubes”
https://www.instagram.com/p/CFa3FHBHEQM/
Yep. That is a picture of his pubes. And yes, I was eating lunch when I saw it, thanks for asking.
As you’d expect, people were quick to share their opinions in the comments, with one girl asking “why is a bag of coke cheaper?”
Honestly, my biggest fear is that somebody is going to take advantage of this opportunity and use his DNA to create a Janoskians clone, which is my worst nightmare.
But selling bags of his pubes is just the tip of the iceberg when it comes to the former Janoskians star’s business ventures. Recently, he has dabbled in sex work (good for him) and *checks notes* selling random shit like old merch on Instagram with astronomical mark-ups.
The move comes just days after he took to Instagram to try to sell an exclusive copy of an unreleased song for $300. However, it’s unclear if anyone actually took him up on the offer.
https://www.instagram.com/p/CFTxWTlnOPw/
But if that wasn’t enough, he’ll also chuck you a follow on Instagram for a measly $50, which is a bargain, if you ask me.
Anyway, I need to go stare directly into the sun for a few hours to cleanse my eyeballs after spending this long looking at Beau Brooks’ pubic hair.
