While all sport is on hold indefinitely (except for the ESPN Ocho, apparently), its left sports commentators at a loss of what to do. So, naturally, they’ve started calling the things that happen at home. Gotta keep the skills sharp, you know? One BBC Sport commentator, Andrew Cotter, has taken to calling the intense sport of his two dogs playing with a chew toy now that he’s definitely not able to call things like Wimbledon, The Masters and the Olympics this year.
In an incredible tweet that has now gone rightfully viral as all hell, Andrew quietly calls the plays of his pups Mabel and Olive playing in the lounge room.
We’re treated to the broadcast of a tense final minute of play after Olive has held possession of the chewy bone for several minutes, while Mabel watches, waiting with bated breath, for the chance to snatch it off her.
Look at these precious babies.
It’s true that even the most hectic and frenetic of sports involve moments of quiet strategy, Mabel waits for her opportune moment, with mere seconds left before the end of the game before she makes her move. It’s absolute heartache for Olive, who’s been working so hard on her possession of The Toy, and was so close to being told she’s a Good Dog.
Andrew’s work as head commentator of the dogs and their playtime, which I am now in full support of becoming a legitimate sport, is exquisite. The cadence! The improvisation of play names! The dizzying highs, terrifying lows, and creamy middles!
Please, take a moment of your time to watch and fully appreciate this. It is ART and I’ll hear nothing negative about it.
Some sports are slower. More about the strategy. pic.twitter.com/JMBaGJ1tSd
— Andrew Cotter (@MrAndrewCotter) April 9, 2020
And for bonus content, here’s Andrew playing commentator for his two dogs earlier this year, at the inaugural Dog’s Breakfast Grand Final.
Now, we’re gonna need a full global Puppy League here. I’m talking brackets, country conferences, full commentary and post-match reports. If footy has to be taken away from me this year I need some kind of replacement.
Someone get Bruce McAvaney and Daisy Pearce on the blower, we’ve got an Aussie Pup Playtime code to organise here.
