Every group chat is different. Because of this, your role in each group chat is different. For example, in one of my group chats (The Bretts) I am the carefree contributor, because my friend Jenna is the organiser. In my netball group chat, I am the organiser. Weirdly Jenna is also in there but that is a strange anomaly in the universe.

My point being, there are several indisputable roles in all group chats and while you may be a glowing angel in one, you can be a downright turdburger in another. Prepare to be seen (or to ignorantly be unaware of your own shitness) because every group has one of the below – and there’s a strong change you’re the culprit in at least one of your group chats.

1. The Ghost

Not to be confused with ghosting (the dating term), a group chat ghost is someone who is in a group chat, but never, ever engages. Over time, the conversational folks in there forget The Ghost is present, and may start saying things they, erm, don’t want The Ghost to hear.

This sounds fairly innocuous but it’s actually shitty – like, either participate or leave, you know? It’s WEIRD YOU’RE HERE, GHOST. IT’S UNNERVING ME.

2. The Look At Moieee

Prepare To Feel Seen Bc You Are Absolutely One Of These Shit Group Chat Members

There’s a reason it’s called the GROUP chat, ok? It’s because everyone is coming together to talk, not just to listen to your problems and your funny stories and your life wins. If you’re finding you only participate in a group chat when you’ve personally got news… you’re this person.

3. The Haha

Similar to The Ghost but kind of worse in a way, The Haha person doesn’t really wanna be here but is playing along half-heartedly so his/her mates don’t crack the shits at them for being a terrible mate who doesn’t care about their problems.

But you don’t care. Hence the “haha” response to everything, mixing it up with “oh shit” if it’s bad news.

4. The Sharer

Sometimes memes are funny. Sometimes links are cool reads. But if all you ever do is post shit, no explanation, to your group chat and don’t actually, you know, CHAT – you’re annoying everyone.

Just like dial it back a little ok? Choose the spiciest memes or the most phenomenal of stories, not BoredPanda circa 2008 “34 Times People Fell Over And It Was Funny AF”.

5. The Subject Changer

Prepare To Feel Seen Bc You Are Absolutely One Of These Shit Group Chat Members

This one is similar to The Look At Moieee but not necessarily so self-absorbed. Like, you might change the subject to something entirely unrelated to you… but you still didn’t follow the group chat protocol which is PARTICIPATE in the convo at hand first, then let it naturally fade out before starting a new one, k?

6. The Muter

Fuck you, muter. Just leave already. Muting is so arrogant like oh sorry we interrupted your very hard day of watching dog videos and picking lint out of your bellybutton, you dick.

7. The Organiser

Prepare To Feel Seen Bc You Are Absolutely One Of These Shit Group Chat Members

I know! I just said I’m the organiser! Look, this can be good OR bad because on one hand you might be handy in making shit happen, but also sometimes (me) you (me) plan things no one wants to go to (me) and then they feel obliged because you took the time to make a poll and everything (me).

8. The Spacer




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9. The Nicknamer

Look, group chat nicknames are fun and creating them based off very specific in-jokes is even funner. But what is less fun is when someone constantly changes the nicknames, to the point where you forget who is who and it’s fucking irritating trying to work it out.

Like pick one and let it stick for a few months, you know?

10. The Reactor

Prepare To Feel Seen Bc You Are Absolutely One Of These Shit Group Chat Members

I’ve said it before, I’ll say it again – the worst thing to happen to Messenger was the react option. Reacting with the laughing guy is not a response, do not think you can just scroll down reacting to your friend’s breakup messages and be done with your obligations, mate.

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