Well, episode 11 was certainly something. The following image accurately represents my facial expression throughout the entirety of the episode.
It was a clusterfuck of cringeworthy moments, from the boys needing a ball to talk about their manly feelings, Emma quite literally wanting to get down on one knee and propose to Matt for one-hour straight and one of the most tense cocktail parties we’ve ever seen. We subsequently said goodbye to Sogand and, tbh, now she’s gone I realise my love for her was strong. I also want her to bellydance at my birthday party, so I’ll be reaching out to her management after this article. Check out the full recap below:
Now let’s talk spicy Twitter moments.
Firstly, we all cried over Snez and Laura making a return and being super preg preg. BRB, busy being clucky.
Snez was such a champ this day – both her and Laura were quite a way along, a few weeks ahead of Audrey and I – the whole mansion was super-clucky. #thebachelorau pic.twitter.com/JyZSxcjcrE
— Osher Günsberg (@oshergunsberg) September 4, 2019
The internet was waiting with bated breath for their sit-down with Abbie to see if they’d be able to smell the bullshit.
I wonder if Lauz and Snez will see through Abby’s shenanigans and lies #TheBachelorAU
— Reality Bites (@RealityNoms) September 4, 2019
And then out of the blue Kristen literally touched their bubba bumps without consent. Fuuuark.
https://twitter.com/fiddy_kay/status/1169185801457954816
https://twitter.com/heididrager/status/1169185834513207296
NOW. THIS IS THE MOMENT I’D BEEN WAITING FOR. While the ladies got to sit down and gush about men and pour the feminine tea, the boys obviously needed to play a bit of footy in order to divulge their super masculine emotions. Emotions aren’t gay when you have a footy in hand, bro.
Ahhh the classic boys are playing footy while talking about girls situation #thebachelorau
— Robbie (@robyn56436920) September 4, 2019
https://twitter.com/ShaunaOCarroll/status/1169186636329996288
https://twitter.com/Lunaamikaelson/status/1169187156566261764
https://twitter.com/maddis90x/status/1169186832199737344
Sorry I included so many about this topic… I just have a lot of (masc) feelings.
Moving on… Laura was literally the Nancy Drew of the episode and subsequently saw through it all.
https://twitter.com/DogOnACouch/status/1169186594508529665
I will accept Laura’s opinion on ANYONE. She’s got this locked down #TheBachelorAU
— Rachel (@MisssRachii) September 4, 2019
I mean, she literally posted this on her Instagram story tonight… She ain’t afraid to make it known.
Laura making no secret of the way she feels about Abbie 😂😂😂 yes you savage queen AUSTRALIA FEELS YOU #thebachelorAU pic.twitter.com/c1bnu8NgLo
— Nat Hanrahan (@nat_sinclair93) September 4, 2019
The Emma shenanigans came… and we were so naive to think that this would be the end of it for this episode.
Emma: ASDDSHWBQF love love love Matt Matt Matt.
Snez and Laura: hahaha yeah sure ok. #TheBachelorAU— Noah (@noahyard) September 4, 2019
Matty J literally went HAM on Helena, which subsequently sparked a lot of discussion about age, emotional maturity and being ready to settle down.
Jeez Matty J this ain’t the home visits yet you acting like Matt’s disapproving nana #TheBachelorAU
— kiki 🍒 (@violettfemmes) September 4, 2019
I hate when people use ‘well travelled’ as a measure of maturity like Matty just did. Having the financial stability to travel does not equate at all with your maturity level. Some of the best travelled yet immature people on earth are young rich teenagers. #TheBachelorAU
— ☾mad (@idgimaddy) September 4, 2019
https://twitter.com/P_Johnson9/status/1169192139596550144
THIS:
This dinner party needs some sudden out of context Sogand belly dancing #TheBachelorAU
— Nicky Arnall (@NickyArnall) September 4, 2019
https://twitter.com/james_ogrady4/status/1169193135752089600
And wowee, we’re finally at the part that we wish we could un-see… Emma and Matt’s fucking painful date. Horny, I am not.
Umm I’ve never felt more awkward in my life… #TheBachelorAU
— Kiera (@UnderYourPorch) September 4, 2019
https://twitter.com/benpobjie/status/1169194318432628737
Elly then handed over the date card to Abbie and, fuck me, I nearly switched off. COME ON ELLY. DON’T GIVE IN LIKE THAT.
https://twitter.com/bellabeachbabe/status/1169199802107625472
Does Abbie remind anyone else of that one girl from school?? 🙄 #TheBachelorAU
— Sophie 🪴 (@Sophie_Dayman) September 4, 2019
I’m raging with feelings after this episode. I think I’m going to rage scroll through Tinder and cry. Ciao for now.