Well folks, Bachie season is heating up and nothing quite warms my tummy on a cold September night quite like a healthy serving of BEEF.

Clearly, the Sogand-shaped hole left after last night’s episode didn’t take long to fill, and my personal fave, Elly has taken it upon herself to fill said hole.

To kick off the episode, we saw Helena get some one-on-one time with Matt, where he basically asked for her 10-year life plan even though she’s barely even had a moment with him up until this point. If you ask me, this was a fucking set up to make her look like an awkward piece of shit.

They then had a cute astrophysicist date to remind us all that Matt is meant to be smart and hot. At this point we all realise that Helena is too pure for this show and frankly should leave now and go meet a man at the pub because she’s too real for this dramathon.

The group date was basically an episode of Drag Race mixed with one of those drink and paint girls dates all your friends are posting on Instagram about.

Then Chelsie got a bit of one-on-one time to tell Matt about all of her life problems and how she’s terrified of being hurt again. I feel for the girl, but maybe don’t go on a dating show if you’re scared of getting hurt? There’s a very slim chance this relationship will last longer than the lifespan of your pet fish, so you probably shouldn’t get too attached.

But none of that quite compared to the cocktail party beef between Abbie and Elly. Long story short because you can read our real recap here, but Abbie broke the girl code and stole Matt before Elly had the chance. And Elly was not having a fucking bar of it. So obviously she interrupted their time. GO Elly.

And so the Great Abbie vs Ellie War of 2019 broke out.

I think MOST of us hate Abbie.

But some Twitter fans pointed out that Abbie seems to be the only one who understands that it’s a game.

Ultimately, Kristen got sent home. Likely because she’s not a drama queen like Abbie and Elly both appeared to be this episode.

Honestly, Kristen deserves better than this show. She’s too pure for this world. My heart breaks for her. Abbie should’ve been sent home dammit.  Even when she was leaving she was still so god damn pure!

Image: 10 / The Bachelor