‘Bachie’ Fans Unite To Ask The Simple Question Of “Who The Fuck Is Daniel?”


WHO IS HE? I was only – only – interested in tonight’s otherwise bleugh episode of The Bachelorette when a man by the name of Daniel stepped up to receive the FIRST rose from Ali. 

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I, watcher of the Bachie series, associate the first rose with front runners – front runners who have had at least one minute of screen time. This man has NOT spoken to the audience, vented about another man, had a cock fight, said “mate” too many times, spread a ~ rumour ~, tried to blender a whole avo, is convinced he’s a dancer when he’s not, is not completely unhinged, and he hasn’t come across as a complete wanker.

AND, he is most definitely NOT a handsome dark knight named Todd who is about to step into the spotlight in next week’s ~ photo shoot ~.

Daniel is just… there. Either, he’s secretly a murderer and this was only unearthed after the filming so Network Ten have to edit him out as much as possible or he’s… too nice for reality TV. Look, it’s probably the latter.

Otherwise, tonight’s episode consisted of yet another cock fight between Charlie and Bill that I will not talk about because Charlie shits me so much. Also, sauce man Rob got pummelled by Ali’s friend Jess and cousin Bianca for not throwing anyone under the bus and for being “too full-on”. 

*inhales deeply*

THEN, Ali – probably by influence of the producers – dramatically pauses the rose ceremony to take MMA-fighter-looking Danny outside to tell him he’s a good mate but ultimately, not the one for her but she really, really didn’t want him to just wait for a rose hence the pausing of the ceremony. Danny’s really decent about this and goes on his merry way. BUT WAIT, there’s more manufactured drama. Handsome man Osher steps in to say that the ceremony will indeed go on and Pete goes home – he’s the one that looks like a shit-stirrer but was actually okay.


Full recap below.

The cock fight in short:


This, this is so goddamn real.


To the crux of tonight’s episode: WHO IS DANIEL?

Haunting of Hill House but with more roses:





Adele is the MVP:


Alright, so I got nosy and stalked the guy.

He is actually real and is aware of this situation.

“You wont get me to talk that easily Taite! I’m going for the record of keeping my mouth shut…until the time is right”

Until he inevitably (or maybe he surprisingly won’t) fucks up, Daniel’s my new fave.


Literally: #whodat