In a strange twist of events, Channel 10 have cut straight to the final rose ceremony which means drama, drama, drama.
So, here we go.
Apollo‘s stressed because being obsessed with is hard work.
Elora literally plays with fire, much to the dismay of Simone who is fully devo and the jealous-rage-storm begins again. Apollo, who thinks fire twirling is a whole bunch of fun, runs off to play with Elora. The Sun God also gets completely oiled up, like more than Buddy Franklin during his last game.
The pair fire twirl together to the beat of intense Bachelor music coupled with Simone’s voice-over wishing the earth would split open and swallow Elora up.
But alas, despite Elora’s fiery declaration of love, Apollo’s fire stick goes out as does any chance of a relationship together.
It’s just “purely entertainment”, Apollo insists when he shockingly hears Simone’s upset with him.
“She organised it all for you,” Simone hisses.
She’s had enough. Apollo just doesn’t get it. Elora doesn’t want to be just friends, mate, she wants your fire stick.
And end scene.
As we see in the previews, the second last rose gets cancelled out for some reason. Turns out American Jared, human puppy, has decided to leave Paradise because let’s be real, he kept getting used.
Goodbye sweet Jared.
Next up, Apollo. The intense music begins, I stop breathing for a few seconds ~ silence ~ until “Simone” is uttered.
Elora spontaneously combusts.
As Simone receives her rose, Apollo mouths a “sorry” to Elora because he’s actually too nice.
😥 #BachelorInParadiseAU pic.twitter.com/cTqe7WvIk8
— Bachelor In Paradise Australia (@BachParadiseAU) April 23, 2018
Then, for the first time ever – we get the post-ceremony footage.
Apollo and Simone are walking back together hand in hand, Simone’s heels are sinking into the mud – foreshadowing.
Apollo huffs and puffs, scrunches his hands against his face on the brink of tears and squeaks a “No” when the producers ask if he’s okay . Simone tries to convince him it’s just the side effects of the rose ceremony but Apollo’s starting to resemble his skull ring. He’s had e n o u g h.
The man gives a heart to heart to Simone. He may be 25 but he’s ready to find his forever. He doesn’t want the fame (yeah sure mate), he just wants love. The two embrace but then the music swells again except nah false alarm – the two are apparently really vibin’ and they disappear into the ad break to see if life without Elora causing a fire storm is a life worth living.
And end scene again, because we still have 30 minutes.
The next morning, Apollo and Simone are nowhere to be seen.
Osher appears and declares it’s time to talk feelings. If you’re happy then stay, if not then hop in the F-Uber and go home. Cue to all four couples kissing… and Rachel and Thomas looking incredibly awkward.
Thomas drops Rachel immediately and she’s absolutely devastated. For a few moments we grasp real reality TV. The still ever so present pressure of bloody marriage.
And then that’s it – where the fuck did Apollo and Simone go?
THEY LITERALLY LEFT. We didn’t even cop an exit scene. Even bloody Eden got one.
Apollo and Simone are off to see if they can make it work outside of Paradise. ❤️ #BachelorInParadiseAU pic.twitter.com/267LKlruIR
— Bachelor In Paradise Australia (@BachParadiseAU) April 23, 2018
Oh yeah, tweets.
Rachael.
33 and not married has NOTHING to do with your worth or values.You’re not alone in that situation, and it’s not an uncommon thing.
There’s plenty of time.
xx #BachelorInParadiseAU— Osher Günsberg (@oshergunsberg) April 23, 2018
https://twitter.com/Amani33xx/status/988369904456761345
Time in #BachelorInParadiseAU isn’t complete until you’ve; – Cried/gotten sunstroke – Worn a grass hat – Been called Lenora #lifegoals 🥀
— Ruby (@MissRubyRed1977) April 23, 2018
Anyone else feel weird when they show Grant and Aly #BachelorInParadiseAU
— Trent Ball (@RealTrentBall) April 23, 2018
Yes.
https://twitter.com/jademurphys/status/988368859840184321
Same.
P.S Hi Flo, Bye Flo.
P.P.S
(Um, single.)
