If you have ever watched The Bachelor and thought to yourself, “Yeah, I’d be pretty good on that,” lonelyhearts, today is your day, now’s your chance, this could be your ticket to three months of reality TV glory. You could get to live Unreal FOR REAL.
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Yes, you might have noticed that in one of the ad breaks in last night’s ep, man after our own hearts, Osher Günsberg, appeared to urge you to try out for the opportunity to compete against 24 other women for the heart of a bloke you have never met or probably even seen before.
We all get lonely, we all have jewellery brands to shill, we all think that maybe if we got on TV one time we could then build a successful influencer career. Sorry, that was cynical.
Maybe people go on the show because they want to wear pretty gowns once a week or they love roses or they’re genuinely struggling to connect with people in real life and this is their last shot at love because if Cupid/Osher can’t help no one can. I don’t know, people make their own choices, and it is not up to PEDESTRIAN.TV to judge them.
Instead we are here to tell you could be the next TV clinger, the next fan fave, the next all-out villain on The Bachelor in 2019. You could be the one who finally shakes up the series, leads a mutiny, everyone decides they don’t want the bloke together, we’ll be doing the rose ceremonies from now on. You could be the one who swears to camera and is in a perpetual state of TMI.
If you are a single woman between the ages of 23 and 40 or a single man between the ages of 25 and 40 (does this mean Bach is bi or does it mean that they’re auditioning contestants for both series at one time?), and you’re free for up to 12 weeks from mid-March, then you can give it a go.
You do need to be single though. And they don’t want you to lie on the application form, which will take an hour to complete. Also, no emojis please. You’ll also need to submit two current photos of yourself – a full-length and a headshot – and a two-minute video where you speak to camera about your experiences looking for love. Yikes.
Anyway, here’s some cooked highlights from the application form, which we swear we did not spend a whole hour completing:
When did you last cry and why?
What was the one thing your parents taught you about love?
Have you ever broken hearts? Tell us about it.
How many sexual partners have you had? Male? Female?
Do you have any skeletons in your closet, e.g. Jilted lovers, sex tapes, unauthorised photos?
How would you feel if your partner wanted an open relationship?
Are you presently seeing or have you ever consulted a psychiatrist or psychologist?
What is the ONE thing you wouldn’t want your fellow candidates to find out about you?
From all the series of the Bachelor and Bachelorette Australia, what guy or girl do you see yourself with or most alike? Why?
If you’re free for first stage auditions in mid-Jan next year, have a crack at the epic application form HERE by Sunday February 3.
Could you be the one who steals the Bachelor’s heart? If we’re talking a pure numbers game, probably not.
Let’s all just settle up on the couch and watch tonight’s carnage, shall we?
