Another season of Bachelor in Paradise has arrived, and, boy, it was 90 minutes of pure, blessed horniness, thrown in with some margaritas and unrequited love. Ah, the joys of reality television.
For the TL;DR version, Abbie crushed on Ciarran… who admitted that he cheated on his ex Renee… who’s best mates with Cass… who ended up getting cosy with Ciarran… who ultimately ended up in Abbie’s bed. That’s about it. (No, but seriously, there was a whole bunch of stellar chats to camera, grapes on genitals, awkward dancing, two-on-one dates and hidden boners, but you’ll have to head on over to the offical episode recap here to get the full tea.)
As always, Twitter provided the damn goods when it came unfiltered, unapologetic reactions. In fact, this is Twitter RN:
But we digress… without further ado, here are the best episode 1 Twitter reactions. May we dive into the tea and breaststroke through the horny madness.
Shoutout to the editors for making sure this iconic Timm look was brought back within the first minute of the show. GREAT start. #BachelorInParadiseAU pic.twitter.com/veR2mfYCJp
— Viki G (@viki_gerova) July 15, 2020
Lucius Malfoy got lit in iso #BachelorInParadiseAU pic.twitter.com/eP6yzUz2os
— Jerome Doraisamy (@JeromeDoraisamy) July 15, 2020
The real winner is the editor who’s had to blur his baggage. #bachelorinparadiseau
— Osher Günsberg (@oshergunsberg) July 15, 2020
I just can’t get past all the touching and non social distancing and not ONE person has washed their hands and god remember those times?! WHY IS THAT PERSON NAKED?! This is an IRL unsolicited dick pick no?! #BachelorInParadiseAU
— Em Rusciano (@EmRusciano) July 15, 2020
Hey guys so we agree no slut shaming Abbie this series because she’s a gorgeous, funny woman who’s confident and that’s not a bad thing???? #BachelorInParadiseAU pic.twitter.com/UMCpCCijQI
— Alex Anastassiou (@alexanasta_) July 15, 2020
https://twitter.com/WSpark98NZ/status/1283337571754377216
So wait…Cass is friends with Renee, who is Ciarran’s ex, who he cheated on, but Renee isout here trying to chat up her mate’s cheating ex who happens to be Ciarran by asking him about cheating on his ex?! #BachelorInParadiseAU pic.twitter.com/VCX0uI0DjG
— Ira Snave (@IraSnave) July 15, 2020
Who is the oldest guy you would date?
Every girl in paradise: 39
Jaime: but I’m 40
Table: #BachelorInParadiseAU pic.twitter.com/KXrqV94Fuq— Milhouse Thrilhouse (@Minquist01) July 15, 2020
Most searched topic on Goggle in the past 5 mins “renee bachelor australia”#BachelorInParadiseAU
— Nez (@fraggle73) July 15, 2020
Littney for Bachelorette 2025! What a treat. I lover her. #BachelorInParadiseAU
— Em Rusciano (@EmRusciano) July 15, 2020
Let’s be real, though, the majority of the tweets just revolved around Abbie finally being able to get a deserving edit.
Abbie is genuinely an inspiration #BachelorInParadiseAU
— Lily Waugh (@harrystylesbabr) July 15, 2020
Time for #BachelorInParadiseAU, or as I like to call it, Abbie’s redemption edit
— Alex Bruce-Smith (@alexbrucesmith) July 15, 2020
https://twitter.com/BrowneElise/status/1283340230624329729
https://twitter.com/TasMavridis/status/1283353044252413953
abbie went from being the villain to being everyone’s favourite i love her #BachelorInParadiseAU
— ع (@allebahsia) July 15, 2020
Hoo boy. It’s time to crack open the champagne and spam all my group chats, ’cause, if this episode is any indication, we’re in store for a cracker of a season.
Until next time, pals.
