Brett From ‘Bachie In Paradise’ Goes Full Piss-Baby On Insta After Being Booted

ICYMI (read our recap, would ya) Bachelor In Paradise Australia really ramped shit up last night in terms of the ~ dramaaaaa ~.

One of the key highlights was Tara’s emotional breakdown after she was slammed for allegedly asking the other gals to keep her m8 Brett Moore, a cast-off from Sophie Monk’s season, on the island because his secret girlfriend was arriving down the track. Yeah, ok mate.

Anyway, shit hit the fan when Tara tearfully chatted to Brett about the ordeal, and a fucking PRODUCER (this show is wild, folks – the 4th wall is constantly broken) intervenes and basically bullies Brett into saying he’s dating-but-not-FB-official with Steph Boulton, one of Matty J’s cast-offs.

Don’t remember her? NEITHER. Anyway, they’re pretty bloody loved-up.

So, no one picked old Bretty because – well – why would they. And he was cast off the island. HOO boy, is he pissy about it. He took to Insta to rant on about how unfair it was that he GODDAMN CHEATED AND GOT CAUGHT OUT.

https://www.instagram.com/p/BgyNCb4nQW_/?taken-by=suchislife.co

Here’s the bit where you’re being a good old piss-baby, Brettles.

IMAGINE: you were both asked to then go on a show in Fiji, sip cocktails with your mates from the last two series and, more importantly, spend time with THE girl your interested in, all the while being paid.

Then imagine you arrived on the island first, her contract only then to be ripped up; leaving it too look like you went on a dating show without her.

Imagine then airing it too Australia portraying you as a shit bloke and as always, forever putting production over humanity, despite never changing our story that we had been seeing each other in the lead up and couldn’t wait to be reunited in Fiji.

Now you have “reality” TV.

Uhhhh let’s start with the bit where LITERALLY the entire premise of this show is for single ex-Bachie contestants to go  to a tropical paradise and fuck/romance each other. That is the WHOLE POINT. Not to see two ex contestants who are already fucking, continue to fuck.

Also, let’s remember the way you stay on the island is by pairing up and getting a rose. Seems a biiiiiiiiiiiiiit cheaty cheaterson to have a pre-set relationship going in, does it not, my fair Bretterino?

YEAH. IT FUCKING DOES.

And finally – bull-fucking-shit that you were never changing your story. You were changing it the entire time that producer harangued you about it, you little shit. “No I’m not in a relationship”, “well yeah we’re dating but it’s not FB official”.

In short, Brett-man, IMAGINE: you’re being a big whingey piss-baby. IMAGINE: you just need to accept you got busted, and deal with it. IMAGINE: BOY, BYE.

For more spicy Bachie in Paradise content, check out our wild, unhinged thoughts on episode two right HERE, and cop our chat with Davey and Luke below.

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