An Austrian man has been fined for public indecency after admirably farting at police “with full intent”. And for that, we bow to a gassy king.
Österreich newspaper first reported on the incident, which took place in Vienna on June 5.
According to the publication, police claimed that the fart-whisperer got up from a park bench, looked deeply into the officers’ souls and “let go a massive intestinal wind apparently with full intent”. There are obviously many elements to unpack here, but I simply cannot get past the use of a) “massive intestinal wind” and b) “with full intent”. Brava.
For his unwelcomed services, the unidentified man was charged with “offending public decency” and fined €500 euros (around $820 AUD).
According to the newspaper, police stated that its “colleagues don’t like to be farted at”. Each to their own, I guess, because I personally believe that farts – intentional or unintentional – immediately bring joy to people’s lives and are therefore iconic.
The cops did take to Twitter, however, to assure Vienna residents that no one will be reported “for accidentally letting one go”. (What’s that sound? Gassy people collectively heaving a sigh of relief.)
So there you have it. If you’re in Vienna, don’t let one rip with intent. The end.
