I preface this article by asserting, very clearly, that I – a 32-year-old straight man of sound mind and body – specifically pushed for this story to be covered, and that I am getting paid to write it, am not typing these words under any external duress, and have no regrets about the career choices I have made that have brought me to this point.

With that said, Ariana Grande almost definitely just confirmed that Pete Davidson has an almighty dong.

The two young lovebirds have hit the fast forward button on relationship phases, going from newly dating to moved in together to engaged to matching tatties in virtually less time than it takes to sneeze.

Davidson went on The Tonight Show yesterday and called himself “one lucky motherfucker,” but lord apparently that’s a stroke of luck that goes both ways.

On her extremely active Twitter account earlier today, Grande responded to a fan asking about her recently shared interlude track Pete. In the process, she revealed something else entirely.

Being of sound journalistic ability, I delved deeper, uncovering more evidence to support the theory that Pete Davidson has a phat hog.

Well, look. That would certainly explain the deep voice.

Amongst the Ariana stanning faithful on Twitter, the subject of Pete Davidson’s unfathomable schlong is something of a common recurring theme, as it turns out.

You heard it here first, friends. Dick for days on that boy.

Dick. For. Days.

Image: AAP