From Dev Patel breaking up a knife fight in Adelaide to the Hemsworth brothers funding an attempt to bring the Tasmanian tiger back from extinction, 2022 has been a bonkers year for everyone’s bingo cards. So really, it shouldn’t come as any surprise that American rapper Fatman Scoop has asked Prime Minister Anthony Albanese to DJ for him.

In some ways, a collaboration of such nature was the organic progression of 2022. I don’t understand, nor accept it, but I must learn to be at peace with it.

Albanese was doing an interview with b105’s Stav, Abby & Matt on Thursday when the gang surprised him with a special guest live on air. No, it wasn’t Australia’s First Dog Toto Albanese, who for some reason gained sentience and suddenly learned how to speak. It was Mr Scoop himself.

“I have a pattern of dealing with Prime Ministers in this country. So you‘re now the second Prime Minister I’ve spoken to on the phone,” Scoop said.

The first leader was, of course, none other than former Prime Minister Scott Morrison.

For those of us unfamiliar with our Scotty and Fatman Scoop lore, back in 2018, Morrison’s office posted a video of the ex-PM’s parliamentary colleagues seemingly raising the roof during Question Time to Twitter. A weird bit, yes, but one that was made even more perplexing because the video was soundtracked to Fatman Scoop’s banger “Be Faithful”.

It’s a track we’ve all lost our shit on the dance floor to. I truly believe you haven’t lived unless you’ve danced aggressively and sweatily into the night, krumping badly to Fatman Scoop’s dulcet tones as he repeatedly sings: “Who’s fuckin’ tonight?”

Obviously, the video was deleted and Morrison was heaps sorry because it was bamboozling, ghastly and other-worldly. But like the trendy dad wearing his hottest Tarocash shirt to Christmas lunch, Scotty said he was “definitely keen” to hit up some R&B Fridays Live tour that Scoop was performing at back in 2018.

In what can only be described as an act of divine intervention, the meetup never happened. But by hook or by crook, Fatman Scoop will not rest until he collaborates with an Australian Prime Minister. The bloke is obsessed.

“Listen, I know you DJ,” Scoop said.

“Now you’re Prime Minister and you’re from the Labor Party. I happen to be the President of the party party.

“Now you have a million constituents that want to see you… you’re going to DJ while I perform.

“All you’ve got to do is put on a cool shirt, take a shower, pin your laptop. I’m going to show you exactly what to do.”

When put like that, it’s an offer Albanese can’t refuse. IMO if DJ Albo were to turn it down, it would imply that he’s averse to wearing funky shirts and bathing.

But alas, he neither confirmed nor denied whether he would perform with the certified party-starter that is the Scoopster (a nickname I shall be trademarking).

“I’ll talk to my people and they’ll talk to your people,” Albanese said.

I’m just waiting for Toto Albanese to spin those decks at some dogshit techno event TBH.

Source: Getty Images / James D. Morgan & Instagram / @fatmanscoop