Dwarfed by the ominous spectacle of a pair of gigantic lips that watched him from a vantage point his normal human visual field did not permit him to see but of which he felt keenly aware, Academy Award-winning director Ang Lee told an assembled press conference that he is “probably” going to accept an offer to direct an historical Cleopatra epic starring Angelina Jolie’s Right Leg, after The Leg wrote to the director and expressly asked him to get on board. 

Or else.

Because he’s a director, not a fool, and also because he’s yet to read the script, Lee was hesitant to immediately enter into one of Jolie’s characteristic binding actor/director pacts (i.e. wearing her name crudely scrawled in blood on a white shirt) but, like the prospect of wearing a vial of her life essence around his neck for the duration of their collaboration, admitted the project was still “very attractive.”

Sony has asked me to shoot the movie and Angelina Jolie wrote to me to express her wishes to collaborate. We admire each other… the project looks very attractive.

It’s a big-budget movie so I am carefully evaluating it … this is a rare opportunity and I will probably take it.

Lee’s current movie child, Life Of Pi, earned the critically acclaimed director 11 Oscar nominations and also some AACTA noms including Best Picture and Best Director, and is Lee’s highest grossing film ever having taken more than $450 million in global box office revenue. An impressive feat considering it does not star Robsten.

Lee’s other movie child, his actual child Mason Lee, recently featured in The Hangover Part II and has his father’s blessing to pursue other ill-fated decisions that are explicitly likened to “torture.”

via AFP

Photo by Sam Yeh via Getty