It’s been revealed that Andrew Davis (AKA that Texan guy from MAFS) originally auditioned for SAS Australia. We love a versatile reality TV star.

As first reported by The Daily Mail, Andrew applied for SAS Australia a couple of months before applying to MAFS. Which is more terrifying: being randomly assigned a wife on national television or being shouted at by angry British men? I think we all know it’s the former.

The Daily Mail got its hands on Andrew’s audition video and as you might expect, it’s truly wild. In it, Davis got undressed down to a pair of budgy smugglers with a swimming caps and glasses. It’s a choice, certainly.

He spoke to the camera while walking through his apartment, like a very cursed YouTube house tour from 2014. And the piece de resistance? While talking about his ex-wife and ex-fiancé “giving up” on him, he poured a can of unidentified drink over his writhing, naked torso.

“I can tell that this show is my destiny. I was born to this. I was made for this,” he said.

“I’ve been through several challenges in my life, but I can tell that this is one that I can see all the way through.

“I’ve had an ex-wife give up on me, an ex-fiancée give up on me. But given the opportunity, I’m not going to give up on myself or give up on SAS.”

As RuPaul’s Drag Race icon Tatianna once famously said: “choices!”

I have to wonder whether he reused any of this for his MAFS audition tape. I mean, nothing says marriage material like a mostly naked Texan man dousing himself in mysterious liquid and shouting about his ex-wife. That’s basically a Hinge vid right there!

The one odd thing about Andrew’s vid (other than the swimming cap) is that SAS Australia traditionally casts celebs.  And while Andrew is a former Ironman, IMO that doesn’t qualify for even the loose definition of “celebrity” so favoured by reality telly.

Back in March of 2021, SAS Australia did call for everyday Australians (or Texans, in this case) to apply for the show. Seven then aired SAS: Hell Week, a mini season with regular old Aussies.

So putting on my Sherlock Holmes cap, I have to assume that Andrew’s audition vid was for the Hell Week series. Clearly he was unsuccessful, but instead made it onto MAFS where he’s spending his time critiquing his wife Holly’s sexual prowess.

Plus, according to this tea, Andrew and Holly literally cannot stand each other. In fairness to Holly, if someone called me a “vacant lover” on national TV I’d probably be pretty pissed off too.

Perhaps Nine and Seven could come together for a special cross-over ep of MAFS that features angry British army men yelling at Andrew? It would literally be the best of both worlds.

Image: Nine