AFL Captain Busted With Pants Down

Shane Warne hasn’t represented any shade of wholesome for quite some time, and it’s hard to forget that Tiger Woods sinks a lot of holes both on and off the golf course, and now some footy players’ penises have gone viral.

Sporting sex scandals. What better way to bring down hedonistic male sports guys and deface their reputations forevermore?! True, false, partially contrived, half legitimate, don’t really matter. When we hear whisperings, a seed of doubt is planted and the player in question is automatically assumed to possess a lack of sportsmanship that extends across all parameters of life, NOT JUST SPORT.

This here recent case is a corker: Some seventeen-year old girl has posted a bunch of rude ‘n nude photos of the St Kilda AFL team on her Facebook page. They spread like wildfire, embarrassing all involved, much to the pleasure of the girl. Eloquently, her profile information reads: “I like to f— s— up, nothing’s normal in my life, and that’s how I like it! …I cause trouble; BEWARE.”

St Kilda Saints (clearly innocent) current team captain Nick Riewoldt, a five time winner of Best and Fairest claims the nude photos of him and two teammates were taken in Miami around 12 months ago. A distraught Riewoldt refutes allusions that he engaged in any suss activity and is adamant that a team member took the photos and uploaded them to his computer, where they were stolen. You can view the images in question are posted at and it goes without saying they’re Not Safe For Work.

Only yesterday did the photos surface and all featured parties maintain they have never formally met the menace that posted them. Though she has been forced to remove the photos and restrained from posting more, she intends to continue, thus fucking more shit up. BEWARE! I’m no fan of AFL but this chick sounds like one hectic bitch and a likely daughter of Satan and I am scared of her. St Kilda, many commiserations, you will be lucky to bounce back from such powerful blows.

Here Nick Riewoldt defending the photographs in a public statement:

By Melissa Kenny

Via The Age and Tabloid Heat