Adele and her boo have shared pics of their newly-bought mega-mansion in LA and I’m fkn crying. Go easy on me Adele, I can barely afford to buy a tiny little hovel in the middle of the desert, let alone a house as big as my suburb.

Everyone’s favourite enigmatic singer (who only shows up every four years) revealed that she purchased the massive mansion in a set of Instagram pics with her new man Rich Paul. And yes, Rich Paul is rich. He’s a millionaire sports agent who’s been seeing Adele for approximately a year now.

Nothing like making your relationship official with a house most people wouldn’t even be able to afford in their dreams. Don’t you just love love?

Accompanying the pic of the new house were a bunch of cute-ass pics of the couple. I’d be lying if I said I didn’t stan their wholesome relationship. Adele looks so fkn happy these days and we bloody love to see it. Divorce era is OVER.

The final pic included in the carousel was one of a fortune cookie that read “you have found good company — enjoy”. When the fortune cookies start hitting right, that’s when you know you’ve really made it. I have nothing but time for Adele absolutely floating through life.

Adele’s new huge-ass LA property was reportedly bought off Sylvester Stallone for approximately US$83 million dollars. That’s approximately AUD$119 million, in case you were wondering. Be right back, I’m off to cry into my avocado toast. Tears count as salt.

Adele divorced her ex-husband Simon Konecki in 2019. If you wanted to know literally anything about how she feels about that separation, you can just listen to her latest album “30”.

The pair share a son named Angelo, who will no doubt be having a blast in his mum’s new crib. Could you imagine playing hide and seek in that thing? I would sell my soul just to have a single game in an LA mansion. Clearly, Angelo is set for life.

I on the other hand am not set for life so if you’ll please excuse me, I need to go and openly sob.