Cheating is bad, but finding out a 43-year-old bloke by the name of Adam Levine sexts like a 16-year-old extra on The Inbetweeners who has never rooted before? Good, hilarious, amazing and incredible.
ICYMI, Levine is currently embroiled in a très messy cheating scandal that now involves *checks notes* five women, who all claim he sent them the most ridiculously down bad DMs.
He’s apologised, as has his alleged mistress Sumner Stroh, who kicked off this entire mess when she uploaded a TikTok on Tuesday claiming Levine had an affair with her, and then wanted to name his unborn baby after her.
As a popular TikTok sound once said: “What on Earth is going on inside the House of Commons?”
If we pretend the aforementioned House of Commons is Levine’s mind, as far as I can tell, the Maroon 5 frontman’s brain has simply become riddled with horniness. Naughty thoughts are running amok in his noggin. It wouldn’t surprise me if he explicitly demanded his home be decked out exclusively with boob lights.
I say this because, quite frankly, the only person who would willingly install boob lights in their home would also describe a woman’s body as “absurd” and write “fuckkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk” with that many Ks.
These are but the tip of the Adam Levine meme (Adam Lememe? Adameme Levine?) iceberg; the man has been feeding us with content. So without further ado, I present some gorgeous memes about the sheer literature the singing horndog has written in his DMs.
It is truly unreal how fucking hot you are. Like it blows my mind.
A wonderful genre of horny text that speaks for itself in meme form, IMO.
when you bite into the piece of tomato in a ham, tomato and cheese toastie pic.twitter.com/JXlPqUghuX— cammyboo KC (@cameronwilson) September 21, 2022
Greta Thunberg to the earth pic.twitter.com/XOLjVYSvzh— sam greisman (@SAMGREIS) September 21, 2022
Goldilocks trying the first bowl of porridge pic.twitter.com/I3jzC65tM9— curt sarj (@1664timemachine) September 21, 2022
Icarus when he flew too close to the sun pic.twitter.com/BpfJxyVLH6— ɢʀᴇɢɢʏ (@itmegreggy) September 21, 2022
When I order a takeaway long black pic.twitter.com/uexnkbFg3J— Isabella Corbett FKA Australia’s Girlfriend (@bonsoyflatwhite) September 22, 2022
me to the inside of a meat pie: pic.twitter.com/LruFL9cuLI— Abby Butler (@abbzbutler) September 21, 2022
Holy fuck. Holy fucking fuck. That body of yours is absurd.
I love this category. I’m simply obsessed with the phrase “holy fucking fuck”, which sounds like something Winnie the Pooh would say if Christopher Robbin taught him expletives.
Grimace’s tailor trying to fit him for a suit pic.twitter.com/F5cpBbAQ13— jon drake (@DrakeGatsby) September 21, 2022
Me when I see a dachshund pic.twitter.com/JK0Z9MBnnD— Danielle Peterson (@danyellpeterson) September 21, 2022
drinking a robust cabernet sauvignon pic.twitter.com/7sCcRUtkzl— Emma Berquist (@eeberquist) September 21, 2022
Me eating all the bread at The Last Supper pic.twitter.com/EeFdjij4sW— Heat (1994) 4K Enjoyer (@firagawalkwthme) September 21, 2022
More Adam Levine DMs have leaked. pic.twitter.com/8sryypTkTd— Lee (@JustifyMyLee) September 21, 2022
I may need to see the booty. Fuckkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk.
I cannot, and refuse to get over “fuckkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk”. I think I’m actually jealous a man has never said it to me before.
Also: booty. Such an intriguing word choice! I don’t think the messages would’ve been the same if he’d have said “ass” or “cake”. Like Goldilocks’ porridge, “booty” was just right.
blackbeard texting his first mate pic.twitter.com/cPN6aIC7FA— ben flores redemption arc (@limitlessjest) September 20, 2022
These are outliers; they can’t be grouped with the other memes because they march to the beat of their own drum. And for that, I love them.
robin williams when he invented flubber pic.twitter.com/fxGmgtv8Mk— laura 🦠 (@ecto_fun) September 21, 2022
me seeing crispy Brussels sprouts on a restaurant’s appetizer menu pic.twitter.com/Dj20rnRu3Z— Paul McCallion (@OrangePaulp) September 21, 2022
adam levine sexting pic.twitter.com/rw5ZMD5dHW— simone! (@parasocialyte) September 21, 2022
What do you think the other Maroon 4 are saying— Hanna Dickinson (@hansdickie) September 21, 2022
tbh adam Levine messages are sexy to me. I love love love when a man has like humna humna humna boinggGgG awooga energy— Grace (@gracecamille_) September 21, 2022
ultimately adam levine looks like a man whose favourite band is maroon five— anne t donahue (@annetdonahue) September 20, 2022
Adam Levine said SHE will be loved. Didn’t specify WHO. Pay attention people!— Phillip (@MajorPhilebrity) September 20, 2022
Well, there you have it. I can’t wait to wake up tomorrow and find out Levine replied to a woman’s Instagram story with: “Honk honk! Those breasts are sublime.” It’s within his vocabulary, people!