The Bachelor runner-up Abbie Chatfield has shared a thought-provoking Instagram post reflecting on her time on this year’s season of the dating show.
[jwplayer 2TT8ymo7]
In the lengthy caption, Chatfield recounts being slut-shamed by the public, listing specific occasions that drew unfair criticism.
“Things I got slut shamed for on #thebachelorau: this bikini, my skort at hometowns, multiple cocktail party gowns, kissing matt ‘without a date’ and at a cocktail party (out of sight of anyone), pashing Matt in various locations with varying degrees of intensity, honestly admitting that I wanted to have sex with a man I was dating for 10 weeks and all around just ‘using sexuality to manipulate Matt,’” she begins.
“This is something I did not expect in 2019. Sex is essential to a successful relationship for me, as is sexual chemistry and the ability to express that comfortably with my partner. I saw commentary around my sexuality (rightly) calling out slut shaming and double standards regarding my pash sessions with Matt, with responses of ‘I’m not slut shaming her she is just manipulative/dumb/aggressive/only wanting sex’.”
She continues, “To insinuate that any relationship is less valid because of a strong physical connection is counterintuitive – the defining factor between a platonic and romantic relationship is physcial expressions of affection. I saw many comments about me having ‘nothing between my ears’ or that I was ‘so insecure she can’t talk to him so they just kiss’. The public see ten minutes of a twelve hour date, it is insulting to both myself and Matt to assume he took me right until the end purely for a snog.”
Chatfield goes on to address her critics directly, writing: “I’d like those who think that I was manipulative to TRULY examine why you believe that. On most occasions, it comes down to a core belief that a woman who is ‘seducing’ a man has ulterior motives, while a man doing the same is merely being romantic.”
“If it isn’t that, it is based off the opinion voiced of other contestants on the show, not my actions. I was always honest, authentic and expressive which can sometimes rub people the wrong way. It’s okay to not like me – it is not okay to assume that I am less of a person or less worthy of love because I like to have sex and can talk freely and openly about it.”
Finally, the Gemini qween concludes: “Also MY LOVE LANGUAGES ARE PHYSICAL TOUCH AND QUALITY TIME LEAVE ME ALONE PLS.”
After the post started pulling big numbers on the ‘gram and many punters left comments in support of her, she took to her IG Story to clarify that she meant no disrespect to people who are not comfortable having sex or the asexual community.
queen abbie (aussie bachie runner up) using her platform to preach sex positivity while making a point to include asexuals, ppl who experience pain during sex and anyone who just doesn’t want to have sex YOU HAVE TO STAN pic.twitter.com/PxgDDLveTx
— neonfiona 🌱 (@neonfiona) September 24, 2019
