For anyone wanting to see A Quiet Place II, you should know the horror comes at you from all directions – not only from the terrifying onscreen scenes but also from attempting to eat your popcorn when it isn’t dead quiet.
That’s a level of stress I didn’t think I could achieve.
As I noticed my body was making some curious movements during the first movie, I thought why not watch A Quiet Place II and measure my heart rate to make sure I’m relatively healthy / not dead?
A quick google search tells me a normal person’s resting heart rate is between 60 and 100 beats per minute (BPM), although apparently, it’s not uncommon for trained athletes to fall closer to the 40bpm mark.
As is evidenced from the first screenshot above, in a devastating twist of fate it turns out I’m not a trained athlete. It also doesn’t look too high either, which is surprising given my lifestyle choices.
Here’s how my heart rate fluctuated during different minute-marks of the movie (which I’ll keep entirely spoiler-free for the purists out there).
Am I…a scientist now?
Two-minute mark
Oh god, I was not expecting to see a certain familiar face right off the bat (or at all).
Lord save me, I still have the entire movie left.
10-minute mark
Honestly, I credit the minor spike in BPMs solely to seeing Emily Blunt on the screen once again. I won’t anticipate it going any lower than that for the remainder of the movie.
40-minute mark
This is incredibly hard to explain my heart’s actions without spoiling scenes, so all I’ll say is that this spike is probably due to something that rhymes with schmaliens cornering somebody on a vehicle that rhymes with schmtrain.
Is 119bpm dangerous? Should I be concerned? Consult a doctor? Fix my will?
Actually, I’ve been meaning to cut people out of my will for ages so this might be the push I need to tick off my to-do list. Thank you, A Quiet Place II.
One-hour mark
SCARY DEMON CHILD ON A PIER, I REPEAT SCARY DEMON CHILD ON A PIER.
Curious it only clocked in at 92bpm though, my muffled scream said it should be far higher.
1.5-hour mark
Alright no, if my heart never goes back to its resting pace then I’d understand. Who in their right mind could live through what happens in A Quiet Place and not cry every hour of every day? If I was in the characters’ positions I would’ve bailed a long time ago.
Do tropical islands still exist in this Quiet Place universe? I’d be sipping tequila by the gallon in the Whitsundays and pretending everyone I know hasn’t been throttled by aliens, cheers.
10 minutes after credits rolled
I haven’t returned to my resting rate before watching the movie nor have I stopped peering out the window in complete silence dreading a fictitious event to happen, so I dunno what to tell you.
My highly scientific conclusion: 11/10 recommend if you hate cardio but need to get your heart rate up, 12/10 recommend just for the viewing experience.
Have a squiz at the new extended preview below:
If you want to put your heart to the absolute test, you can buy or rent A Quiet Place II from Apple TV, GooglePlay and a bunch of other places here.
Just please, please don’t choose a loud snack. I’ll personally come over there and flick you on the nose.
