Ah, April Fools Day. Arguably the worst day of the year to be a writer, journalist, producer, or literally anyone who spends their 9-5 packaging up the news for the public. I hate it with my life.
A day when the inboxes of journalists and content producers across the country are inundated with pitches and announcements (mostly from brands) that are entirely fake, but almost plausible enough to seem real.
Some are written in a way that lets us in on the joke (yep, checking those embargo dates are vital) while others are a straight-up prank, attempting to dupe us into getting excited, writing about it, and ending up with more egg on our faces than Fraser Anning in Moorabbin.
Yes, I’ll admit, we’ve felt the sting of an April Fools prank before, but we’re (hopefully) more wise to it now; so let us share with you some of the more ridiculous pranks – and some well-thought-out gags – that have passed our collective inboxes on this, the Hell Day.
Play Snake On Google Maps
Not shy to putting out an actually well-executed gag for April 1st, Google Maps have backed it up once again to make your commute a little more fun – with a nifty game of Snake in capital cities around the world.
Arguably the kings of internet easter eggs, this is one little bit of online fun that I can actually get behind, simply because it’s REAL and something that we can talk about without looking like total idiots.
Macca’s Announces McPickle Burger
Available “until yesterday” is the McPickle from the brains of the Golden Arches. As someone who absolutely loves pickles, I’m bloody furious that this doesn’t actually exist and I demand that Maccas create and deliver me a McPickle immediately as penance. GIVE IT. TO ME.
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Pickle lovers, it’s the news you’ve all been waiting for. We’re super stoked to announce the launch of our brand new McPickle Burger. It’s time to tuck into juicy, flavoursome pickles layered between melted cheese, ketchup sauce and toasted sesame seed buns. It’s sure to be a treat for all your senses. #dailynuggets #mcpickle #pickleoverload #maccas #imlovinit
Sportsbet & Sydney Opera House Agree To 3-Year Deal
After the public retort to the Sydney Opera House having to blast horse racing ads on its iconic sails as Premier Gladys Berejiklian succumbed to an almighty tantrum from Alan Jones, Sportsbet have gone whole-hog and ~jokingly~ announced that they’ve penned a deal with the Opera House, to show betting ads on its sails.
Problem gambling, it’s real funny.
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Bureau Of Meteorology Closes Dropbear Season
As the summer is well and truly over, the BoM has announced the closure of Drop Bear Season. A tried and true gag to scare the living daylights out of tourists and overseas mates, bringing the real fear of drop bears to Prank Day™ has a real chance of spoiling a classic Aussie joke for good.
From today our Drop Bear Aggression forecast is suspended until next summer. While DBs are more active in the heat, we still urge people to put Vegemite on their ears as a precaution. For all our other forecasts still head to https://t.co/Wc7OY4KQyG
— Bureau of Meteorology, New South Wales (@BOM_NSW) March 31, 2019
Visa’s Gone To The Dogs
Using a cute pooch is a good attempt to sway me into believing a prank, and Visa has somehow figured that one out. Using Oscar the Welsh Terrier to introduce the ‘Pay With Woof’ technology, it’s one of the more dubious-but-adorable gags this year.
Could you imagine the state of your bank account if you had a dog that wouldn’t shut up though? You’d be up to your neck in schmackos deliveries.
GoGet Looks To The Stars, Suspends All Leos
An email that began with APRIL FOOL’S: is always helpful, and GoGet‘s gag is a joke through and through – simply because it’s too silly to be believed.
The car-sharing company has apparently crunched the numbers and realised that all the worst drivers are actually Leos, people who are born between July 23 and August 22. According to this research, Librans (Sept 23 – Oct 22) are the best drivers.
Whatever, this Gemini wants to see receipts.
As a result of new findings in a recent study concerning particular drivers and their behaviours on the road, GoGet Carshare will now be looking to temporarily suspend all Leo members until further notice.#Goget pic.twitter.com/M7ZfdTfrSL
— GoGet (@GoGet) March 31, 2019
Lexus Releases ‘Enpaw’, A Decadent Doggy Driver
I don’t quite understand how this one works – probably because I: 1. don’t own a Lexus and 2. I don’t have any idea what the ‘Encore ownership programme‘ is, because I don’t own a Lexus.
Anyway, for April Fool’s, Lexus has announced some kind of Doggy Driver service called Enpaw, where you can get your pooch pedalled around by a chauffeur, so they don’t muck up the back seat. I think.
They haven’t posted anything about this on social media that I can see, so just use your imagination, I guess.
NSW Police Force Introduce ‘Police Cats’
Look they might be cute but it’s very rude of the NSW Police Force to turn precious kitties into cops.
Meanwhile, the Victorian Police Force has announced that they’re updating their “undercover uniform” which doesn’t even make sense.
Wait, should cops even be doing April Fool’s gags?
Domino’s Unleashes Candied Pepperoni Shake
Elon Musk Begins Lucrative Music Career
Oh, wait, this one’s real? AHAHHAHA OH MY GOD.
— Elon Musk (@elonmusk) March 30, 2019
And with that, I leave you to continue second-guessing literally everything that passes my desk. Good luck and godspeed this April Fool’s, my friends.Image: The Office / NBC