I can tell ya right now, I remember a lot more Disney content than I do subjects in primary school. Chuck in high school and uni while you’re at it.
Sure, I learned the essential life skills and school has taught me how to be a functioning person but for the life of me, I can’t remember specific classes except for when drama went down. That probably says a lot more about me than it does education though.
That’s what Disney has nailed down though – the fact that mixed into this entertaining world they’ve created, there are also nuggets of lessons to be learnt disguised as hectic storylines and general shenanigans.
So, let’s have a look at some of the key teachings of Disney that you can’t learn while dissecting a frog or secretly swapping your food with your classmate like an underage sandwich-dealer.
1. LOOKS MEAN NOTHING
If this piece of work isn’t a beautiful example of looks being deceiving, I honestly dunno what is.
If you’ve watched The Little Mermaid even once, octopus/woman/vile specimen Ursula transforms into a much more attractive human when she’s trying to ruin Ariel’s life like a bitter sea urchin. Sure, she may look like an 11/10 but girl has the heart of a mouldy sock.
2. ADULTS DON’T ALWAYS KNOW BEST
Can you imagine growing up with a guardian who convinces you to stay in a treehouse without ever leaving for the unforeseeable future? Rapunzel doesn’t have to imagine – she lived it.
Mother Gothel, Tangled‘s resident evil mum, is so jelly of her daughter’s youth (and magic) that she tricks Rapunzel into thinking the outside world is just the worst. So, yeah, adults may know a thing-or-two, but take everything with a grain of salt.
3. IT’S RUDE TO PURPOSELY NOT INVITE PEOPLE
People could email me a 5000-word essay about why Maleficent is, at her core, evil. I would proceed to glance at said essay, drive to a friend’s house to use their fireplace and burn the entire thing – Maleficent did nothing wrong.
Sure, she plotted to kill Princess Aurora but that’s after she was publically humiliated. All she wanted was an invite to the party – don’t exclude people just because you have different lifestyles (yes, even if one lifestyle is destroying lives and the other is not destroying lives).
4. WHEN HIRING, DON’T JUST CONSIDER HUMANS
Uh, I thought this was pretty much a no-brainer but apparently there are still employers out there exclusively interviewing humans.
Might I remind you of a little film called Ratatouille? That rat ran circles around the supposed ‘chef’ so the moral of the story here is obviously to have more rats in the workplace. Maybe guinea pigs, in a pinch.
5. MONEY CAN’T BUY PLEASANTNESS
Money can buy a lot of things – cars, houses, happiness – but it can definitely not buy pleasantness, as evident by The Emperor’s New Groove’s Kuszco.
Don’t get me wrong, he has some smashing one-liners but let’s call a spade a spade – the dude sucks. I guess when you’re rich, you don’t need to bother with social skills.
6. THERE’S SUCH A THING AS TOO MANY PETS
Alright, the idea of owning 101 dalmatians sounds like the best thing to happen since they introduced an option to block mobile numbers, but trust me – that’s a whole lotta dog to look after.
Even the loving parents in 101 Dalmatians lost all of their pups because they couldn’t keep an eye on such a massive litter. Let’s keep it to two – maybe three – pets. Max.
And before any diehards get all up-in-arms about how it wasn’t the parents’ choice to have 101 dalmatians – I do not care.Image: Supplied / Giphy