Why It’s A-Ok To Fuck Antiquated Social Expectations & Sex On The 1st Date

The other night, over a piping hot roast dinner and a diet coke, I asked for my girlfriends’ opinions on getting jiggy wit it on the first date.
There was a clear consensus. 

“Of course you’re allowed to do whatever you want, it’s your body,” they said, staring at me in cyborg unison. “But if I really like a person I’ll wait for at least the third or fourth date to have sex with them.”
From there, each friend’s exact reasoning for withholding the goodies was a bit different. “You need to make them work for it,” one of them said. “Where’s the surprise and delight if you have sex straight away?” chimed another.
I listened intently, but all I could think about was one fact.
The fact that I fuck on the first date.
Sometimes my propensity to nookie right off the bat leads to meaningful, long-term relationships. Sometimes it leads to a good mate. Sometimes, it leads to radio silence. 
The common denominator in all of these instances is that I did what I wanted on my own accord, and went against my friends’ advice. As an antidote to the idea that ‘good things come to those who wait’, here are 7 reasons you should absolutely shag on the first date.
*Note: My grandma’s handle on technology has improved to the point where she knows who Pepe the frog is, so for that reason I am writing this anonymously, lest I kill her prematurely with my ‘wild’ ways. 

1. YOU CAN TEST YOUR CARNAL CHEMISTRY, QUICKLY
This wouldn’t be a true internet dating article without some sort of reference to Sex and The City, so I’ll get it out and over with first thing.
When Charlotte York met Harry Goldenblatt, she wasn’t much attracted to him. In fact, she found him to be a highly grotesque individual. 
But she gave him a chance, they boned, and guess what? It was the best sex she had ever had. Big call for a woman who features in a show… about sex.
Not long after, they started dating, she converted to Judaism and they adopted a god damned baby.
What this goes to show is that you never know what side of someone you will unlock in the boudoir – sometimes you need to woo hoo to see if the chemistry intensifies.
2. CONTRACEPTION MEANS UP THE [WHATEVER HOLE] NO BABIES
It’s understandable that our ancient forefathers didn’t want to do the in-n-out on their first dates.
You see, before contraception became widely available in Australia in the swinging ‘60s, planting a bebe into your new partner during heterosexual sex was a very real possibility.
The pull-out method was common, but the fact that some of you are alive today and reading this is definitive proof that this method did not work. 
The beauty of scientific advancement is the resulting contraception methods available – you got your classic franga, a ribbed franga (extra pleasureh fer her), the pill, the implanon, injections, IUDs, vag rings and sterilisation. The male pill is on its way too, thank Christ.
The greatest benefit of all of these scientific advancements? Sex on the first date, no dramas.
3. DOIN’ IT CAN IMPROVE YOUR MOOD AND YOUR LIFE
Lets say you’re having a shocking week at work. Truly. It’s been terrible. 
It gets to Wednesday afternoon and Megan, a woman you met at the weekend, calls you up and asks you over for HSP and chill.
You have a fair idea that this little exercise will result in an onion-breath fuelled dalliance, but you’re just not sure if you have the energy. Did I mention, work is killing you?
You resolve to go anyway, and when you get there you have a great time. The chippies are crunchy on the outside and cloudy inside, the lamb’s cooked to perfection and you and Megan get along so well you decide to bandicoot right then and there on the loungeroom floor. 
You go home, sleep like a baby and come into work the next day feeling like a new human. Debbie in accounts comments on your youthful glow. Sex releases the hormone oxytocin, also known as the “love hormone”. This in turn pumps up ye endorphins, which are our natural happy and pain-killing hormones. A true hump day treat.
Thanks Megan. 

4. IT’S GREAT, RIGOROUS EXERCISE 
Travelling along the same tracks as the above point, sex can be fantastic for your physiological and mental health.
2000 study from Duke University found that for some people, 45 minutes of exercising, three-times-a-week, was as effective in lessening depression as was taking the antidepressant Zoloft.
Sub that in for 45 minutes of rigorous humpedty dumpedty and everybody wins.
The theory here is that if you’re doing the wild thing with a relative stranger, you may be more likely to give it your all and really get your sweat on. 
5. YOU CAN BE WHOEVER YOU WANT TO BE 
The more you date someone, the more they learn about who you truly are.
It’s common practice to divulge how many siblings you have, what your best childhood memory was and even what keeps you up at night as you continue to date. As important as these pieces of information are in creating a lasting bond, they can also nip your precious mojo.
If you ferk someone you barely know, you can be whoever you want to be in the bedroom. A tigress. A fireman. An international diplomat. The opportunities really are endless. 
Perhaps you have a kink you’ve previously been too embarrassed to air. If you get together with someone who isn’t involved in your life, you can test these out with the only repercussion being that you might not see them again. 

6. IT’S A SATISFYING WAY TO WEED OUT THE DICKHEADS
“Have sex with them on the first date and they won’t ask for another” is the tired rhetoric often repeated when discussing heterosexual dating. 
It’s true – some men will automatically disregard a woman if they “give it up too easy,” but giving it up too easy is an economical way of pruning out these hardline misogynists quickly. If he’s the kind of guy who will take issue with you behaving in a way he does, he’s probably not a very cool guy. 
Plus, if you play by their rules and wait the required 3 dates before doing the dance, they might turn out to be a dud and you’ve wasted all this precious time. 

7. YOU COULD HAVE AN ORGASM(S)
No explanation needed. 

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