Don’t you feel like we’re all leaning hard on our star sign to determine everything from our personality to whether we should be eating vegan? I do. Ever since Co-Star and other 2k19-vibe astrology shit started doing the rounds, it feels like we’re REALLY identifying hard with our astro signs.

So obviously, when I heard that SKYN had surveyed a bunch of folks and come up with star sign-based sex trends, I was very intrigued. I don’t know if I agree with all of these as an overall trait for the corresponding star sign, but I also… don’t NOT agree?

SCORPIO: “More likely to use restraints”.

Yeah look. Yes.

TAURUS: 28% fake orgasms.

WOW, that is an aggressive call. This is based on stats, I guess. Sorry anyone boning a Taurean, I guess? Well really it’s, sorry Taureans bc you’re clearly not getting what you need in the bedroom.

ARIES: Last longest during sex.

Whoever has made this survey is hundo an Aries.

SAGITTARIUS: Most likely to use condoms.

GOOD ON YA, SAGGOS.

LEO: Most likely to sext.

I mean, I fucking hate sexting so Leos stay away from me.

GEMINI: Over-report number of sexual partners.

I mean who even gives a shit how many people we’ve had/haven’t had sex with tbh.

PISCES: 30% have had open relationships.

Okay I’m a Pisces and the idea of an open relationship is total self-esteem hell to me, so you’re WRONG. Or, in a more realistic way, I’m just part of the 70%.

LIBRA: Masturbate the most.

HELL YEAH, LIBRANS!

CAPRICORN: Most confident in bed.

Confidence is everything in bed so good onya, Capricorns.

VIRGO: Under-report number of sexual partners.

See Gemini. WHO CARES.

Anyway, obviously this is all verrrry debatable and also based on 1,000 US/Canadian folks, but it’s fun and now you can tag your Aries mates and be like “uhurrrr Craigos not you mate uhurrr” right?

Right.

Image: Game Of Thrones