While many of us have engaged in the slippery substance that is lubricant once in our lives – be it for a wank, peen in the vaginé or ass play – there’s a whole pool of people who haven’t because a) they don’t think they need it, b) they’re embarrassed if they need it, and c) don’t see the benefit of it.
Silly! Given you’ve entered this article like you’ve been entering orifices, I guess you might be one of the latter?
But that’s all g. That’s what we’re here for. You’ve cum to the right place. Keep reading to get schooled on all things lubey lubey lubey lubey. Sometimes we just need a quick refresher, or, you know, just a straight-up lesson in general.
WHAT TYPE SHOULD I BUY?
Water-based: The ~ prime ~ lube product and you won’t need soap to wash it off.
Silicone-based: This one’s longer lasting and won’t dry out (ow-ee) + you don’t need soap to wash it off. It’s also hella good for water sex – bathtubs, spas, showers, waterfalls, water parks, in the rain, the list goes on.
WHEN SHOULD I USE IT?
Look, we probably don’t use lube enough in the bedroom (or shower, waterfall, theme park) to be fair but it can make fucking – being it home base or ~ prepping the oven ~ (read: foreplay) – 10 x more fun, pleasurable and comfy.
Not only can it help with vaginal dryness it can make things down there much more comfortable and reduce the risk of franga breakages. The sooner we realise this, the sooner we can buy lube without a dumb, and quite honestly, rude, stigma attached to it.
HOW DO I USE IT?
Apply to your fingers first and then on your norti parts, or apply straight onto the norti parts. Up to you. Slap it on, but ever so gently.
HOW DO I NOT USE IT?
When having protected sex, do not use oil-based, makeshift lubes like massage oils, body lotions, baby oil, butter, margarine (PEOPLE DO THIS?!), or petroleum jelly as they can weaken natural rubber latex / polyisoprene condoms.
EH Stock / iStock
Also, who the fuck wants butter in their hoo-ha?