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Some folk have all the luck – they pop on Tinder and swipe right to instantly match with the human of their dreams, bonding over a mutual hatred of pineapple on pizza or a love of terrible 90s cartoons. It’s fate, it’s destiny, it’s infuriating for the rest of us.
But some people you match with don’t really give you that “let’s grow old together” feel, even though you get on like an absolute house on fire. You go on a date, maybe even two, and although they’re awesome, there’s just not the right vibe. And that’s totally fine as well, as long as you’re both fully aware that your particular lil’ loveboat will not be leaving the dock anytime soon.
I met some of my closest mates on Tinder, so trust me when I say that it’s 100% possible to take it from match to mate without wanting to torch your phone for getting you into this situation. It’s all just a question of addressing the issue head-on, and yes, USING YOUR WORDS.
Have the convo early
If you can sense that there’s zero love connection with a match but you still want them to kick around as a mate, you’ve gotta be straight up early and let them know. There is literally nothing cringier than having them bring up the “Oh, I thought we were seeing each other?” conversation when you’ve been checked out of that game for a while.
It will not only make you feel like an inconsiderate flop, but it’s also not fair to give them a false sense of hope. When both people are on the same page, it’s stacks easier to just enjoy being mates without romance question marks hanging over your heads like some kind of fucked up Sims game.
I will be the first to admit that I am the literal worst at having the ‘chat’. If I like the person, I shit bricks thinking that they won’t be keen, and if I’m not keen then I feel crappy for having to turn someone down. But I should take my own advice when I say to buck the fuck up and JUST. DO. THE. THING.
Dodge the one-on-one
If there’s still any residual awkwardness from the conversation (maybe they’re still just a lil’ bit keen but you’re 100% not) and you don’t wanna put yourself in a weird situation, hang out in a group setting until it feels normal. Provided your mates aren’t the literal worst, you’re probs okay to bring your pal along to your next catch-up.
Your mates have your best interests at heart, so they’ll be on-side to stamp the last bits of interest away from your Tinder mate – even if that’s just by telling the hilariously embarrassing stories of all the times you’ve shit your pants.
Plus, if your mates are a fan then it’s stacks easier to bring your new pal into the group. They might even wind up having the hots for one of your other pals and be downright grateful that you had less interest in this human than you do with a soggy cloth.
Quit being weird about it
Look, nowadays we’re pretty much all swiping away and there’s no chance you’re going to fall in love with every single person you match with. But that doesn’t mean you can’t make the most of meeting these sweet new folk.
Meeting on Tinder is a totally normal thing now and it shouldn’t be thought of as some all-binding contract of love or bust. It’s a legit way to meet a new pal, so get swiping and give it a red hot crack to find your new bestie.
Quit being a baby about it and just accept it – you can find mates on Tinder just as easily as you can find possible romances. Besides, who wouldn’t want to be friends with you? You’re great, right?
Image: iStock / vitapix