So you got shitfaced on Saturday night and boned a total random. Or maybe you had a big d & m with someone you semi-know, or know REAL well, and soul searching turned into sexy times hour. Whatever the case, you’ve managed to develop the low-level feels and you’re not entirely sure how to proceed. Do you text them? DM them on Instagram? Write it off completely as a no-strings thing and pretend it didn’t happen, even though you’d kinda like to see them in a not-naked setting?
It is possible to turn a one night stand into a date, but there’s also a myriad of ways to fuck up the move royally. So we asked a bunch of folks about how someone could play it right and turn a hook up into a romantic few beers at the pub.
I think for me the biggest thing is did we actually hang out at all and have a good time. If it were someone wanting to see me again, the best sign that I’d say yes is if we had some good chat and a laugh together outside of the actual hook up. Even if it’s just afterward in bed, you know? I also think if numbers weren’t exchanged, it wouldn’t be weird to me if they added me on a social platform and then DM’ed me the next day. If someone left it too long, I’d probably have written them off as just a hook up. So contact the next day works for me, but maybe a bit of chat before hitting me with the “I’d like to see you again” business – Mel
This sounds crazy, but I love it when someone who comes over for a hook up plays with/compliments my cat. I guess it’s because they’ve shown interest in my life beyond just hooking up with me? I’ve never properly analysed it but I feel like it’s to do with interacting outside of the physical hook up. It also reflects someone’s nature, I think. Callous people don’t like cats, right? So guys, pay attention to your hook up’s pets if you want to see them again, lol. – Matty G
I feel like I’m an emotionally connected person and only like people I know already and have spoken to for awhile before. All of my one night stands were specifically one night only, I wouldn’t speak to them again due to the fact that I didn’t know them so didn’t want to see them again / felt I didn’t care enough. However, I think if someone I hooked up with slowly started chatting to me afterwards over text or whatever, I’d maybe be more open to something more. It would also be telling if I didn’t want them out of my house immediately after the hook up. If you stayed over, there’s a good chance I was into you beyond that one night. – Jane
My girlfriend and I have been together for 9 years, and we started as a one night stand. It was pretty easy, she just texted me the day after and it went from there. It was surprising to me that she wanted to see me again, given I woke up in her bed the next morning pantsless, but I still had socks and a t-shirt on. So I guess it’s always worth a text the next day if you like the person you just boned, because I honestly thought she wasn’t keen on anything more and it turned out she was. – Aaron
It someone pays for my Uber home and is genuinely concerned that I get back safely, that would go a long way for me. And shitty texters that take days to reply can go in the bin, so if someone types in full sentences I’d be intrigued. – Steph
It really comes down to “do I want to fuck them again, do they want to fuck me again”, but one important thing for me is that they actually chat to me after the deed’s done. It can’t feel like “oh no, they actually don’t want to be talking to me” bc then I’d preserve my dignity and bail immediately. I’ve definitely been put off by people early on when I feel like they’re tooooo keen. Like buddy if I’m the best thing that’s happened to you what else is going on in your life? – Alex
I think a tell-tale sign from a one night stand is if it’s not a pump-and-dump situation – like, don’t leave as soon as you’re done with your pants around your ankles. Hang around / sleep over after the hookup, but don’t overstay your welcome. A little bit of time investment goes a long way here and shows you’re interested but not clingy. – Josie
So many of my boyfriends were one night stands, actually I think pretty much all of them. You just need to be really good at the sex! It’s guaranteed they will want to see you again. That’s the trick, they keep coming back for the good sex and then without realising it they have fallen in love with the hilarious crazy bitch you actually are. Then you can start the star fishing and throw them an amazing root once every 3 months when you wasted and actually in the mood. – Luke
The only thing that is off-putting to me when it comes to a guy hitting on me after a one night stand is if they double text. Definitely open to a follow-up text to test the waters, but when they double text… – Mitch
My boyfriend and I started off as a one night stand – I remember kinda regretting that it had happened (not because chicks can’t have one night stands, but because of my own silly thoughts). Anyway, we still spoke for sometime after that and went out a few more times and here we are now, over 3.5 years later and living in our 3rd apartment together. He made me laugh, which is super important to me. Also, there weren’t any awkward moments, and I’m normally a pretty freaking awkward person so the fact that I felt so comfortable with him spoke levels. – Georgia
I think it’s entirely contingent on how it all came about, to be honest. If it was just a dating app thing, I’d probably feel less inclined to pursue it or assume the other person would be interested. But I’d say if we had a good connection before, I’d be more comfortable with seeing if they want to hang out again in a non-nude scenario. – Liam
The real question is did we actually get along? Was there banter? Could we have a laugh afterwards? Without that there is no way the date is a go. One night stands can happen out of nowhere for plenty of different reasons; time and place, convenience, alcohol (read: blind drunk) or you literally fall in love on the spot and pursue it. The difference between it meaning something and wanting to continue it to a date and it just being a bit of fun is the ability to have fun and have a laugh together before and after (even during!). Also if someone stays over– and doesn’t try and bail straight away, big indicator they had a good time and would be down to go on a date! – Blake