News flash. While we’ve all been conditioned to believe the first date means everything, it actually doesn’t. Most people would agree (read: me) that they’ll give almost anyone a second chance, even if their first date with ’em is less than riveting.
Why? Well, we’re pretty forgiving of things like nerves, and all the awkwardness that comes with them. After all, how can you know after 3 hours whether someone’s worthy of sharing a Netflix account with in 6 months or not?
But the second date is crucial. You’ve hung out before. Texted for hours. If date #2 goes south, you’re almost guaranteed to get ghosted immediately after. That’s why I’m going to give you the low-down on how to absolutely nail a second date.
BACK YOURSELF
I hope you were being yourself on Date One, but sometimes nerves and mini freak-outs get the better of us. Trust me however when I say it’s crucial to be yourself on Date Two, and not apologise for who you are. This is your time to shine, babey! Don’t be afraid to disagree with your date on some stuff, or admit you have no idea about Tarantino movies.
People respond well to honesty, and showing your interests and disinterests isn’t going to repel someone. If anything, it draws ’em closer.
And if it does repel ’em? Then they weren’t a good match for you anyway. BACK. YOURSELF.
DIAL DOWN ANY EX TALK
Look. Your ex is part of your life (or was) and at some point you’re gonna have yarns that involve them. Especially if you were with them for a long time. But on the second date? Try real hard to omit them from those yarns. It will always make for an uncomfortable sitcho to mention an ex when you’re just getting to know a potential new dude/gal.
The occasional mention is fine, and if you slip up it’s not a huge deal breaker – but no matter what else, do not start talking about what a dickhead they were, or how they broke your heart. Again – down the track if you get closer to this person, this shit can come up (maybe). For now, leave ’em in a mental box, marked “STAY AWAY”, k?
ASK QUESTIONS DURING STORIES
This is a personal favourite of mine. Asking questions is always good (what do you do for work, what course are you doing at uni, did you also watch 40 episodes of RuPaul last night), and hopefully you asked some of the main ones in your initial Tinder banter, but the best questions are the ones that show you’ve been listening.
EVERYONE likes a listener. We all just want to be heard. So if your date starts a long tale of their crazy boss at work, ask questions through it to get the bigger picture and show you’re interested and not just waiting for them to finish so you can tell a new story.
MAKE IT MORE THAN DRINKS
This isn’t a hard-and-fast rule, but planning a date that has a couple of elements to it is a great way to get to know someone more. We get that you wanna keep the first IRL meeting post-Tinder chat casual, but now you know ’em a lil’ more. Think art gallery visits, the movies, dinner, lawn bowls, or a picnic. You can do these things on top of initial drinks, or instead of.
Basically make the second date reflect your personality a bit, or put the pair of you in a scenario that encourages more than the interview-style q’s of date one.
GO IN FOR THE KISS
Okay this isn’t a hard and fast rule at ALL – I’ve had exes where we didn’t kiss for like, four dates – because they were WEAK! Weak I tell you! Jks but they absolutely had no game and I was sending all the signals. But basically, this is the perfect time to go in for the first kiss, if you’re feeling the welcoming vibes.
If you’re standing around outside the pub for example and your date is hanging around awkwardly instead of choofing off to their Uber on the immediate, there’s a big chance they’re angling for a kiss and are just awkward as shit and can’t get the courage to kiss YOU. So whatever! You make the first move.
Just a note to check their body language and vibe is welcoming a kiss bc no one likes a sex pest who slobbers on someone who is not keen. K?
If ya still need some dating pointers, have a listen to our new podcast below:
