There’s never a solid way to justify cheating, but some poor attempts at said justification certainly do deserve to be marvelled at simply for their pure stupidity.

And marvel now, you shall. One Twitter user’s unfortunate story recounting a cheating ex with a lousy excuse has subsequently prompted fellow users to come forward with the funniest and downright absurd cheating excuses they’d received for wandering exes in the past. From an apparent lack of memory to God-given prophecies, please enjoy possibly the dumbest collection of cheating excuses ever to exist on the internet.

Aaaaaaand now we dive in.

You know the meme of that sleeping cat tucked cutely into bed, alongside a caption similar to ‘how I feel knowing that no one’s cheating on me because I’m single as fuck’? That’s how I feel right now. Blessed. The end. Le fin.