I cannot stress this enough – it is frankly demonic behaviour to not have a set side of the bed if you’re a couple. Aggressive statement? Maybe, but I stand by it. For me, this Irish couple who told Twitter that they regularly swap sleeping sides are possibly the Antichrist, except a couple.

Steve O’Rourke was having a chat with colleagues when he realised he was a FUCKING MANIAC.

Please read his follow-up explanation and notice the myriad of reasons as to why this is weird.

Need help? Ok – moving books and pillows and chargers is fucking annoying, why put yourself through that? Also “first one in chooses” is totally fair but we all know in a long-term relationship, fair goes out the window and what remains is “oh so you’re claiming the right side of the bed tonight even though you left me to do all the washing up while you Skyped with your parents? Please tell me why you deserve this”.

Naturally, people online agree that this is chaotic energy in action.

Steve responded to the outrage with this:

UMMM STEVE, my guy. You absolutely do have a set seat at the table. My seat at my family table is still a firm rule and our family hasn’t had a table dinner together in over a decade at that thing.

Obviously it’s all jest and plenty of people are praising Steve and Amy for their negotiating skills and general thoughtfulness.

Jokes aside, it’s fine if you do this. LOL NO IT’S NOT YOU ARE AN INSANE PERSON.